Frostbite
by you'lllovemeandI'll loveyou
Summary: Barry had changed the timeline and now everything was different, at least it was for Caitlin Snow. But with her ice powers evolving and time running out how long could she keep this a secret?
1. Breathe in, breathe out

Frostbite

Chapter 1

(I don't own the flash)

…..

I stared in horror at white streak of hair that I'd cut off. This couldn't be happening. This could not be happening. I looked down at my hands and saw that white mist was still coming off them, I quickly squeezed them shut and sat down on my bed, taking deep breaths to try and calm my racing heartbeat.

My first instinct was to call Barry, let him know what was going on. He was a metahuman too, he's know what to do. I had just started to dial his number when I stopped. I couldn't tell him; I knew that if I did they would all just see me as killer frost waiting to happen. A ticking time bomb. I couldn't bare for them to look at me that way.

My second thought was to see my mother; she might have some idea of how to slow this down. But I knew that she'd just want to run test after test, she'd use me for her research and be her normal cold self just like she always has. It was work first, family second.

No, I could manage this on my own, I'd do some of my own tests. Figure out how to control this and until then just not use my powers. It would be okay, just because I had ice powers doesn't mean I was destined to be a killer.

…..

I tried to act normal as I walked into star labs, a coffee in my hand and a bunch of files under my arm. Cisco waved hello as he worked on the newest design for Barry's suit and Wells acknowledged my existence with a grunt as I walked past his station. I sat my coffee down and pulled off my coat, quickly logging on to the computer.

I began to research different theories on metahumans in the hopes that someone would have a theory on how to slow down the powers emerging. I took a sip of my coffee as I clicked on a new website.

"Hey watcha looking at?" Barry's voice suddenly said from beside me, making me jump and choke on my drink, grabbing the cup tightly to stop it from spilling everywhere. I quickly closed down the tab before he could see.

"Uh... Nothing. There was this medical conference coming up in Star City. I was thinking I might go" I said, trying to sound convincing.

"You should, you never go out and do anything for yourself" he said squeezing my shoulder as a way of encouragement.

I manage to give him a fake smile and ask him about how his date with Iris went last night. He gives me a toothy grin, the 'conference' forgotten as we discuss his night.

"I haven't felt this content for a very long time. Everything just feels right at the moment, you know?" he asks

"Oh I know. And I'm glad you're happy" I say this time with a smile that wasn't forced. I was glad that things were going well for him, it just cemented my decision not to tell him that much more.

"Well I'll let you get back to your work" he says, giving me a smile before going over to see what Cisco was working on. I go back to my work and raise my cup to my mouth, frowning when nothing comes out.

I slowly take off the lid, taking a look inside and jumping back when I do.

The coffee is frozen inside.

My breath stops as my pulses races again and I quickly dispose of the cup before getting back to my research.

I was running out of time.

….

The day passed slowly, no metahumans but a bank robbery and a fire downtown that Barry assisted with. I managed to look at a lot of different websites but none of the said anything on how to slow this down. Before I knew it, it was late and everyone was leaving for the night.

"You okay Caitlin? You seem distracted" Cisco asks as he fetches his things.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah I'm fine. Just dealing with a few personal issues… You know what? I have a couple of things I need to finish up so I'm gonna stay back a bit. I'll see you in the morning" I say as smoothly as I can, hoping no one would pick up on the lie.

"Okay, well I guess I'll see you in the morning" he says giving me a quick wave before leaving me to the empty lab.

I immediately go over to my medical station and pull out a blood test kit. This was going to be hard. After many attempts and a lot of manoeuvring I manage to get a sample and start testing it right away.

The results are terrifying; my cells are mutating. Becoming frozen and attacking the non-mutated cells and the non-mutated cells are becoming fewer and fewer. I quickly grab a glass of water and then attach some monitors to myself.

After taking a deep breath I grab the glass and focus, clenching it in my hand. A white mist appears around my hand and the water begins to freeze until the glass shatters in my hand, sending glass and ice everywhere.

My insides feel cold, as if everything inside of me is frozen and I'll never be warm again. I go to pick up some of the glass off the floor and notice in the reflection that my eyes are glowing blue. I quickly gasp and scramble away from the glass, looking at the monitors that are going crazy.

When I used my powers my temperature plummeted, to a temperature that a living person could not possibly survive. And the longer I used it the further it spread through my body. I crumple into a nearby chair, covering my face as I sob. I was turning into Killer Frost and there was nothing I could do about it.


	2. Don't get too close

Frostbite

Chapter 2

….

I woke to two things, the sound of my phone blaring and the feeling of snow falling on my face. I groaned and opened my eyes to snow falling down from the ice-covered roof. I sucked in a deep breath and focused on taking back all of the ice and snow, sucking it back inside me. When I opened my eyes again my room was back to normal and I sighed.

I quickly grabbed my phone, noting that it was 5 in the morning and shouldn't even be up for another half an hour "Hello?"

"Caitlin? Good you're up. We have a slight situation down here and- "

"I'm on my way" I said cutting Cisco off and hanging up. I quickly get dressed and rush down to star labs.

Barry, Cisco, Wells, Jesse, Iris and Wally are already there "What's going on?" I ask as I walk in.

"Meta-human is in the city. He has hostages and says he won't let them go unless he talks to the flash" Barry started to explain.

"He seems to have a metal skin that he can go in and out of which makes him almost impenetrable. He also seems to harness some fire abilities. I have something that might be able to help disable his powers for a little while but we'd need to get the hostages out of there before he changed back and I'm pretty sure a few are injured from the fireball he threw into that bank." Cisco babbled on "I think I'll call him Blacksmith, get it? Because he deals with metal and fire?"

"Cisco not the time. Now Caitlin I hate to involve you in these types of things more than you already are but Cisco is right a few are injured and it would be better if we had you with us. Jesse and Wally will be coming as well and you will be safe I promise" Barry says turning to me.

"T-that's fine, just let me grab my kit" I say going over and grabbing my medical bag while they get changed into their suits and discuss their plan. They're all ready to go when I come back and Barry hands me an earpiece so we can all communicate.

"What? No cameras?" I say jokingly as I slip it into my ear.

"Not this time. He's dragged them off to an abandoned warehouse. You ready to go?" he asks extending an arm.

I blush as he picks me up, my heartbeat starting to race from the close proximity and soon we're off. Before I know it we're there and he's helping me back to my feet.

"You two, go that way. Try and make sure no one sees you. Caitlin, you come with me" he says pointing off to the right to Wally and Jesse. They quickly leave and it's just the two of us "Just stay behind me okay?" he says and I nod, holding my bag close.

We go to where the hostages are being held, it's one of the higher floors and as I walk in with Barry I notice Jesse up on one of the higher levels but can't see Wally. Blacksmith as Cisco likes to call him is standing in front of a group of terrified hostages, zip-tied on the floor. I can see a few are injured from here.

"Ah Flash, I see you've brought a friend. That was not part of the agreement, no matter how pretty she may be" he said leering at me in a way that made me want to turn away from him.

"She's a doctor, your hostages are injured. Just let them go with her, this is between you and I" Barry tries to reason.

"I'm not one to negotiate Flash, it's a shame. To waste such a beautiful face" he said, fire appearing out of his hands.

"No! No stop she's only here because I asked!" Barry yells as I stand there, distracted by the fireball growing in his palms.

"Well then her death will be on your conscience, not mine"

Barry yells at me to run but I'm too busy focusing on the fireball growing in Blacksmiths hands. I suddenly make up a plan, I make it look like I'm terrified, knocking into Barry and sending us to the ground while unclenching my fists and using my powers to knock out his.

As I look up from the floor I can see Blacksmith looking at his hands in confusion and fury "Flash! NOW!" I yell and Barry is up from the floor in a second, throwing the device onto Blacksmith and neutralising his powers.

I quickly rush to the hostages while he deals with Blacksmith, kneeling next to the nearest one and having a look at the burn on the poor man's arm. The man was unconscious so after looking around I cool my body temperature down and place my hand over his burn, cooling it down before applying the necessary treatment.

After I finish helping all the hostages we have to go before the police arrive. Jesse flashes me back to star labs with Wally while Barry talks to the cops. I go to unpack, feeling slightly drained from using my powers so much tonight and go to sit for a few seconds.

"Yeah, it takes a while to get used to them" Jesse's voice says, filling the room and startling me "I almost passed out the first few times"

"W-what? What are you talking about?" I stammer, trying to figure out a way from this conversation

"Your powers. I saw you using them, don't worry I won't say anything" she says coming over to where I was sitting "How long have you known?"

"A few months, they're getting more prominent now" I say with a sigh, picking up a strand of my dyed hair "I have to dye my hair every other day, new white streaks just keep coming through"

"Why haven't you told anyone? I mean, of all the people we would understand" she asks sitting beside me

"That's just it. You don't get it. In the other universe, where I have these powers, I become a killer. A villain. I can't become that, I won't" I say shaking my head

"So shutting everybody out is supposed to stop that?"

"You wouldn't understand"

"No" she pauses "I don't. But it is your decision when and if you tell them even if I think you should. But if you ever need to talk or someone to go to for help, I'm here" she says taking my hand.

"Thanks, Jesse. The offer goes both ways" I say as she slips off the medical bed.

"And I'm guessing you haven't told anyone about your feelings for Barry either?"

I blush bright red and look down, refusing to make eye contact which pretty much confirms her statement "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me"

She pauses just as she leaves "Caitlin"

"Yeah?"

"It's going to be okay" she says with a small smile before she departs.

And for a second, just a second. I believe her.


	3. Everything comes out eventually

Frostbite

Chapter 3

…..

I flinched as I felt the all too familiar feeling of frost starting to appear on my palms as I turned my laptop on. I had some more tests to see how far my powers had progressed since I had last checked them a week ago, and I wanted to check the results before anyone got here. I take a deep breath and concentrated on my hands, stopping the mist from appearing. A wave of dizziness washed over me and I shook it off as Cisco and Barry appeared in the lab.

"Hey guys, you're here early" I greeted Barry and Cisco who had just begun to put their things down.

"Likewise. What are you doing here already?" Cisco says frowning and offering me a donut which I declined. Since my powers became more pronounced I hadn't felt like eating much.

"I had something I needed to check up on" I say quickly shoving all my test results into my drawer without having a look.

"Do you ever go home?"

"Not if I can help it" I joke, taking my water bottle from my desk and having a sip.

"You okay? You look a little pale" Barry says with concern as he passes by

"Yeah fine, probably just a cold" I say with a wave.

"Well if you start feeling worse don't be afraid to go home. Your health is important too"

"Aren't I supposed to be the doctor?" I say quirking a brow

"Fine, you won't hear from me again on this topic"

"Hey guys" Jesse says as her and Wells come in "Caitlin you feeling okay? You don't look great"

"She's sick, but don't try and convince her to go home. Doctors are the worst patients" Barry says rolling his eyes and going to talk to Wells about something.

I notice Jesse staring at me and go off to the bathroom to wash my face. As I'm running my hands under the water I notice that the water abruptly stops and pull back in horror when I realise I've frozen the water in the faucet.

What was happening? I thought I had more time, I thought I had this under control. I start to hyperventilate and the air drops rapidly in temperature, snow begins to fall from the ceiling and form webs across the mirror I'm looking at. Another strand of my hair turns white and my eyes begin to become that familiar blue.

I rapidly blink, panic taking over as I see my reflection in the mirror, I manage to stop the snow falling and my eyes revert back to their normal brown and I push myself out of the bathroom, gripping the wall as I made my way down the hall

"Caitlin? Caitlin, are you okay!" Jesse says out of nowhere

"I'm fine" I grimace holding myself up against the wall.

"Is it your powers?" she whispers "You're not really sick, are you?"

"It's fine, I-I'm just having trouble controlling them at the moment"

"Maybe it's time to tell the others, c'mon I'll help you there" she says coming towards me with her arm outstretched.

I back away, hands tucked behind my back "No! Don't. I'm fine, really" I say brushing myself off and walking back into the main room.

"Anything happen yet?" I ask as I walk in

"Nothing to report so far but I- hey are you okay? You're really pale" Cisco says with concern.

Barry and Wells both hear that and Barry comes over, a look of concern and mild frustration on his face.

"Cisco is right, you look even worse than this morning. You're going home" he says

"Really guys I'm fi-whoa" of course at that moment I'm hit with a wave of vertigo and lose my balance. Barry holds me up and sits me down in a chair while Cisco goes to get some water.

"Caitlin? Cait talk to me; can you hear me?" Barry asks, feeling my forehead for a temperature while I try to blink away the dizziness "She's freezing! Maybe we should call an ambulance?"

"No!" I leap out of my chair at that suggestion "No hospitals! I- I can't, they'll want to do tests and they can't! They can't!" I struggle to keep myself up as I hold on to the nearest desk.

Jesse comes running in "Caitlin I saw the bathroom; you have to tell them!"

"Tell us what? What's going on?" Barry asks, turning back and forth between us.

"Nothing, I'm fine"

"Caitlin"

"Stop Jesse! I'm fine I swear" I try to say convincingly

"Fine if you won't tell them, I will!"

"Jesse no! It's not your secret to tell, I'm not ready" I say the black spots reappearing in my vision

"Tell us what? Will someone please tell us what's going on!" Cisco shouts in frustration

I'm about to beg Jesse not to but the feeling of something wet beneath my nose stops my train of thought. I lift a trembling hand to my nose and pull back when I come in contact with something wet. It's blood.

And that's the last thing I see before everything goes black.

…

"What's happening?"

….

"It started a few months ago, but I only found out a few weeks ago and she swore she was fine"

…

"What do we do? She isn't exactly stable at the moment."

…...

"Why didn't she say anything?"

…

"Cell…. Ice powers…. dangerous"

….

"Guys I think she's coming to"

…..

My head felt incredibly heavy, like someone had attached weights to it and thrown me into the ocean. The simple task of even opening my eyes was difficult, like my eyelids were made out of lead. Eventually I pulled them open and was greeted by the sight of everyone staring at me.

"You all know" I figure out, my throat rather raspy.

Barry nods "Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you"

"Because that's just it, I can't be helped. There is no stopping this and I didn't want any of you to worry" I say, slowly sitting up

"And you think we weren't worried when you collapsed in the middle of the lab with blood pouring from your nose?"

"That wasn't supposed to happen and I am fine, really I'm not even dizzy anymore"

Wells steps forward "Caitlin. We all feel, maybe it would be better if you stay here for a while. Just so we run a few tests, make sure everything's ok"

I immediately take two steps back, my hands clenched into fists as I give them all accusatory looks "You want to keep me here? Lock me up like I'm some sort of monster"

Barry steps in, trying to defuse the situation "No one is calling you a monster Cait"

"No but it's what you're all thinking. You look at me and see Killer Frost, I can't believe this" I gasp, "I heard what one of you said, that I'm dangerous. No offense but I don't plan on sticking around to hear what else you have to say" I begin to leave but Barry runs forward, grabbing my forearm

"Caitlin wait" he says holding me back.

"Just let me go" I snap, trying to pull away

"No, not until we talk"

"I said let me GO!" I scream, trying to shove him off me.

It all happens very quickly, my hand latches onto the arm holding me prisoner and the next thing I know I can feel Barry's life and warmth seeping from his body into mine. He immediately stiffens, his face going extremely pale.

The second I realise what I'm doing I pull away but the damage is already done, Barry collapses to the floor, gasping and choking as Wells and Cisco check him out.

"Caitlin what did you do?" Cisco snaps, his eyes wide with fear and anger. I look around the room and fear is on every face I see, and it's all directed towards me.

"I-I'm sorry" I stammer, facing my hands towards myself before I hurt anyone else. Jesse comes forward and I panic "No! No don't come near me! I-I don't want to hurt anyone else"

"I'm sorry... I-I'm sorry" I sob before rushing out, there's no one following me this time. I grab my bag on the way and run to my car, tears streaming down my face as start my engine.

I don't know where I was going to go, but I couldn't stay here anymore.


	4. Unfreeze my icy heart

Frostbite

Chapter 4

….

I pushed my way through the crowds, keeping my hands in my pocket just in case. I could feel my phone buzzing in my pocket but ignored it, desperate to get away. I couldn't go back, not after what I did. The image of my friends' terrified faces would forever haunt my mind.

I couldn't go to my apartment obviously and if I used my credit card they could track me down so I needed to find somewhere, with no people so I could hide away for a few days. I walked for hours, blisters appearing on my feet as my heels painfully rubbed against them and my stomach starting to grumble from the lack of food.

Eventually I came by an abandoned warehouse, I tentatively looked inside. The roof was broken and there was a puddle of water on the floor from the recent rain but it was decent enough to rest for now.

I curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, pulling my coat over myself as I shivered from the autumn air and sobbed.

….

The next few days passed uneventfully but there was a small problem. I was running out of money. I needed to go back to my apartment and get whatever I had lying around but I had no way of knowing if anyone was there, waiting for me to come back.

I pulled the edges of my hat down further as I made my way through the city, thank god I always carried an extra pair of clothes in my bag or I would have had to stay in the same clothes for the last few days.

I decided to go when it was night time, less chance of anyone seeing my face and everyone should be at home or busy. I'm less than a hundred metres from my apartment when I feel someone start to walk behind me, I quickly glance over my shoulder and see a man in a thick leather jacket and worn out jeans less than two metres behind me.

He notices me looking and quickly speeds up, standing in front of me so I have to stop "Hello there beautiful, what is a girl like you doing out on the streets alone at night?" he sneers and I can smell the scent of beer and cigarettes on his breath. "I-I live just up there" I say pointing at my apartment building in case he didn't believe me.

He takes a look and I take this as my chance, rushing past him in an attempt to get away. His hand clamps around my wrist and stops me abruptly, yanking my shoulder.

"Ow! Let go of me" I snap, pushing at his hand. I stop all movements when he pulls out a gun.

"Now there's two ways this can go. You can come with me quietly and I won't have to hurt you or we can do this the hard way" he mutters under his breath as he pokes the gun into my back.

I have an idea of what he is going to do to me and before I know it rage fills me, before I can stop myself I grab onto his wrist. He gasps and tenses up, the gun clattering to the ground.

"You are never going to hurt another person again" I snarl as my grip tightens. The same white mist appears from my hand around my grip on his wrist and he starts to go pale, his breath shuddering as his body shakes.

He starts to go blue as frostbite starts to appear on his arm, burning his skin and causing it to go black and blue. I can feel his warmth seep into me, warming me up and burning away the cold inside me. It's intoxicating, for the first time in months I feel alive again.

But then I hear him cry out and I realise what I'm doing, immediately releasing my grip on his wrist and watching as he falls to the ground, gasping and clutching his arm. I feel sick to my stomach, bile rising in my throat as I run away from him, away from my apartment. This was a mistake, coming back was a mistake and now I was turning into the monster I didn't want to be.

…..

The next day

Barry's POV

"Has she called you back? Or replied to any of your texts yet?" I ask Cisco in frustration as I come in to work.

"Nothing, I called her mum to ask if she was there and she said she hadn't even talked to Caitlin in almost a year" He says, glancing at Caitlin's empty desk.

"She's been gone for 4 days, I'm worried about her. Maybe I should ask Joe if he can do anything" I say as I frown, deep in thought.

"If you tell them she's a metahuman they're going to treat her like she's a villain and that will only make things worse. We need to do this carefully" he says as he logs onto his computers.

I nod and sit at my desk, trying to think of places she might have gone. My phone buzzes as Iris texts me but I ignore it, I'll text her back later. I needed to focus at the moment.

Suddenly Cisco yells out and I flash over to his desk, causing papers to fly everywhere.

"Geez dude, thanks" He mutters sarcastically as I wave him off, desperate to know what he had found.

"A guy was admitted to the hospital last night with frostbite on his arm, he said a woman grabbed him and did it" he says pointing to the article on the computer "And I did a check on heat signatures on the city and there was a massive drop in temperature in that old warehouse out on O'Brien road"

"So that's where she is"

"Either that or there is another metahuman with ice powers running around Central city"

I flash into my suit and memorise the address of the place where Caitlin is hiding out before running off. I make it to the warehouse in seconds and I immediately feel the temperature change, I can see the windows are misted over so I assume that she's inside, causing.

I cautiously enter the building; the place is frozen over. There are icicles coming out of the walls and ceiling and the floor is covered in a layer of ice. Snow swirls around Caitlin who is in the middle of the room, curled up on the floor and shaking. I brave the snowstorm and slowly approach her, as I get closer I realise that she is sobbing, pulling at her white streaked hair in anguish.

…..

Caitlin's POV

I couldn't control it; the terror and the pain was consuming me and I was too tired to stop it. I could hear the sound of the wind roaring in my eyes as I curled on the floor and covered my ears with my hands, trying to block out the sound.

"Caitlin?"

I shake my head, clamping down on my ears harder, he wasn't here, he couldn't be here.

"Caitlin it's me"

My eyes snap open and I move slowly, turning around in the midst of the snowstorm I had created. Barry was a few metres away from me, approaching me slowly as if he didn't want to spook me.

"You shouldn't be here! It's not safe!" I shout, moving away on the floor from him "Please just go! I don't want to hurt you!"

"Well I'm not going anywhere until I talk to you" he shouts, moving forward again.

"Barry stop! I'm not safe to be around!"

"I'm not going anywhere"

"Why? I'm a monster! I'm exactly the same as Killer Frost! I could have killed that man!" I cry out, the terror getting a grip on me again.

"Exactly! You could have but you didn't! You chose not to! You're not a monster Caitlin, what happens next, it's up to you. You can let the fear control you or you can fight. Please, just let me help you" he says, stretching out a hand.

I look at it hesitantly, internally debating on whether or not I should take it. How could I come back from this? I had hurt people, almost killed Barry, what if I couldn't control it and someone got hurt again or worse? I couldn't bear it.

He seems to sense my hesitation and grabs my hand. I try to pull away, petrified of hurting him but he grabs on tighter, ignoring the chill as my body immediately starts taking his warmth.

"B-Barry! Please let go! I'm going to hurt you!" I scream, desperately trying to pull away again.

"No. No you're not, look at me" when I refused to look him in the eyes he spoke again "Look at me Cait" he spoke softly and I looked up, teary brown eyes meeting warm green ones "I trust you Caitlin, you can stop this" he says despite his trembling

He starts to go pale and I sob, the storm around me worsening. He sees my panic and squeezes my hand again, reassuring me. "I trust you Cait".

I feel as if there is this invisible tether connecting me to him through our interlocked hands, bringing me back and soothing the ache inside my chest. I nod, focusing on just his face and how unbearable life would be without him and slowly the storm dies down and I take back in all the snow and ice I had unleashed.

I eventually let go of his hand and he falls to the ground, gasping as the colour starts to reappear in his face. I take a few steps back, wary of being too close until he's okay again and gestures for me to sit on the floor next to him. I'm beat from using my powers so I tentatively sit down beside him.

"I'm sorry… for using my powers on you. I never meant to the first time" I apologise, still guilty about that.

"You don't need to apologise; I shouldn't have grabbed you. None of that was your fault" he interjects

"But I hurt you"

"I'm fine Caitlin, super healing remember? It lasted less than a minute"

"But that other guy, I really hurt him" I shudder, remembering the image of the frostbite on his arm.

"He'll be okay too, although I do need to ask. What happened? You would never attack a random citizen" he asks, leaning forward and turning to me.

"He…well I was on the way to my apartment. I needed to get some money and he grabbed me out of nowhere… he pulled out a gun and threatened me to go with him and I-I just lost it" I mutter, staring at the floor

"Well than he deserves what he got. Worse actually, I kind of wanna go kill him now" he snaps, his jaw clenched.

"That's not even the worst part"

"What is?"

"A part of me, the metahuman part…. Liked it, it made me feel warm, exhilarated"

"Caitlin…" he sighs

"What if that's who I am now? Someone who has to suck the life out of people to feel anything?"

"Caitlin that's not who you are"

"How do you know?"

"Because you stopped. You stopped okay, you chose not to kill him and you chose not to hurt me. To me you are still the same Caitlin Snow who enjoys mint chocolate chip ice-cream and can't sing for toffee. These powers don't change that" I laugh at the singing part, the familiar tune of 'Summer Lovin' floating into my head as I offer him a smile.

"Thank you Barry, it… it really means a lot to hear you say that"

"No problem. Now, will you let me take you home? I have a whole team of people who have been worried sick" he says getting up and offering me a hand.

"…okay. But I am going to be staying at the lab until I get more control over my powers, I don't want to hurt anyone else" I say, feeling a little dizzy as he pulls me to my feet.

"Whoa! You okay?" he asks, steadying me.

"Yeah, just tired" I sigh, he quickly swoops me up, carrying before I collapse from tiredness.

"C'mon, let's get you home"

…..


	5. Tethered

Frostbite

Chapter 5

…

"Okay you're doing great Caitlin, just keep focusing"

"I am focused" I say through gritted teeth as I focus on controlling the storm whirling around me, making sure I didn't give in to the darker part of me, the killer frost part of my brain.

"Your physiology is amazing; your body is literally changing to adapt to the cold temperature. You can stop now" Wells says as he stares at one of the screens monitoring me.

I take in the storm, panting slightly as Barry chucks me a water bottle "How long was that?"

"uh, 33 minutes. A new record" he says with a smile as I gulp down the water

"Your control has developed immensely over the last two months Caitlin, I see no reason we can't try to test it out" Wells speaks, going into the other room and bringing Cisco back.

"What's going on?" I ask as Cisco stands in front of me.

"You are going to hold Cisco's hand for 30 seconds; I want you to try to resist using your powers"

"Are you insane? I could kill him!" I shout, taking a step back

"I think that you are in enough control now that that won't happen."

"And you want to test that theory on him? No, no I won't do it" I say, shaking my head.

Barry steps forward "What if it was me? If something were to happen I wouldn't get hurt and we've already done this before" I hesitate and he holds out his hand "Please Caitlin, I want to help"

I reluctantly take his hand, expecting to feel the immediate transfer of energy and warmth that would occur whenever I touch someone. I didn't feel it, instead I felt a spark as our skins touched, like someone had just electrocuted me. I glance up at Barry, our eyes interlocking as I held his warm hand in mine.

That feeling was back, the feeling of being tethered, of being terrified of letting go because I didn't know if I'd ever feel this way again. But then Wells announced the thirty seconds were up and I immediately dropped his hand, remembering that he had Iris, Iris who he loved.

I smile as Cisco hugs me for the first time in months, watch as Wells and him celebrate with Barry and laugh as they bring out champagne even though it's barely noon. But the whole time I can't stop thinking about the spark I felt when our hands intertwined.

Eventually I excuse myself, needing a breather. I sit on the stairs of one of the stairwells, mulling over everything in my head when Barry comes in and sits down next to me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired I guess" I sigh, picking at a loose thread on the blue dress I was wearing.

We sit there in silence for a minute before he says anything.

"Did you feel it too?"

"W-What?" I stammer, shocked by his boldness.

"When we held hands, you felt it too didn't you? That's why you're out here"

"Barry…"

"What? I know when you're lying so don't even bother" he interrupts

"Why are you asking this? Why are you even back here? You have Iris" I state

"I know"

"So what are you doing?"

"I don't know! I just, I need the truth. Caitlin please" he pleads, turning towards me as I kept my head down

"It doesn't even matter" I

"It does to me!" he interjects, "please Caitlin, I need to know. If you have any feelings for me whatsoever tell me now"

There's a pause, for a second I think I can hear my heart actually breaking as tears well in my eyes "I can't" I breathe out "It's too late Barry…... it's too late" I say getting up to go

Before I can leave he runs after me, spinning me around and his lips crashing down on mine.

I immediately lose all train of thought, responding to the kiss by cupping my hands on the back of his neck and pulling his closer while his hands go from my face to my sides. We collide into a wall and my legs go around his waist while his hands grip my hips, holding me up.

Our mouths pull apart and he latches onto the skin of my neck while I curl my fingers into his hair. I feel one of his hands begin to slip up my thigh and it's like all of a sudden, my conscience kicks in and I push him away "No we can't" I say, my chest heaving as I rush off, fresh tears running down my face.

…..

I ignore my phone as it buzzes for the hundredth time in two days, I had called in sick, too embarrassed to go in. How could I ever look Barry in the eye? Or Iris, she didn't deserve this. Snow was falling from the roof above me as I lay in bed, my powers were always harder to control when I was upset.

I watched as the snowflakes hit the pillow beside me, utterly miserable. Why did he kiss me? He asked if I 'felt it too', so he felt what I did? But what about Iris? He had pined over her for the longest time and now he finally had her. How could I ruin that for him?

I groaned, pulling the covers over my head as someone knocked at the door, I had bloodshot eyes and a red nose, not to mention the fact that a re-enactment of _Frozen_ was going on inside. I was in no condition to see anyone. I pulled the covers tighter, hoping that whoever it was would get the message and leave but alas they just kept knocking every couple of minutes.

I groaned, dragging myself out of bed, I didn't care that I was my grey sweats and my star labs jumper, whoever it was would just have to deal with my bedraggled state. I threw open the door, not even bothering to check who it was and a startled Barry stood on the other side.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss, bewildered and a little annoyed that he wouldn't leave me alone

"Have you been crying?" he blurts out, looking at my red eyes.

"Nice, why don't you just tell me I look like crap next time? Come on, come inside before someone sees you" I say, ushering him in, the people in my building were notorious gossips. "What are you doing here Barry?" I ask as I close the door.

"I needed to talk to you and you haven't been answering my calls or texts. Why haven't you been at work?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You know why" I say and he looks down, shame written all over his face.

"Look Caitlin, I'm so sorry… I- I don't know came over me" he tries to explain, his shaky hands running though his hair.

"It's fine, I get it. It was just a mistake. The last few months have been stressful and you were confused" I say, trying to sound as if it wasn't killing me inside saying that.

He looks up, his eyes wide with panic and he takes a step closer "What? No, no that's not what I meant"

"Then what did you mean?" I say, frowning

"I don't think it was a mistake and yes I'm confused but not like that. I meant I'm sorry for the way it happened, you deserve better than to be groped against a wall in the lab" he comes up to me, gently touching my wrist.

"Barry.." I whisper, my breathing becoming heavier with our close proximities.

"Please… just tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for me?"

"Barry.. I can't"

"Please"

His begging breaks down my resolve and as I feel his hand run up my arm to my neck I whisper "yes" my eyelids fluttering closed as he bring his lips to mine again.


	6. New person on the team

Frostbite

Chapter 6

….

I was not fond of skin-tight suits, that was one thing I was absolutely sure of as I tried on the suit that Cisco has designed for me, it would adapt with my powers for which I was thankful for. It was hell getting my clothes dry cleaned, bits of them torn and ruined from ice getting on them.

It was like Barry and Jesse's suits, only navy in colour and there was no flash emblem on the front. The neckline was different too and for some reason I think Barry might have had a hand in designing the outfit. It was a slight V neck, not too low cut but enough that I wasn't completely covered up. A thick black belt with a snowflake on the front went around my hips which could hold weapons should I need to use them and I had black boots to wear as well as a mask to hide my identity.

I tucked back the strand of hair next to my ear that was white, I had a permanent stash of hair dye at my house now but each time I used my powers a new one would pop up. I examined myself in the mirror, looking at the costume from different angles. Suddenly arms encircled my waist making me jump and turn around, smacking Barry on the arm as he laughed.

"Don't do that! Do you want to be impaled with an icicle?" I scolded watching him smirk.

"Sorry, I just wanted to say hello" he says giving me a quick peck before I hit him again "Ow! What was that for?"

"Not here, someone could walk in" I hissed under my breath.

"Cisco is on a coffee run and Wells is in the other side of the lab, he didn't even say hello when I came in he was so busy" he says with a smile giving me another small kiss "Good Morning"

I smile and wrap my arms around him, "good morning" I say giving him another kiss, longer and deeper this time.

When we pull away he looks me up and down, a grin forming "You should dress like this every day"

I roll my eyes "Shut up, It's Cisco's suit for me" I say lightly slapping his arm

"Has he given you a name yet?"

"He keeps making Elsa jokes so no, hopefully it's nothing ridiculous like 'Ice Queen'. That was my nickname in college"

"I don't think you're icy, you certainly weren't last night" he mutters into my ear and I freeze, my cheeks flushing as I remember last night.

We had been seeing each other a few nights a week for the last two months but we still hadn't had a discussion on what this was or what it meant. Part of me wanted to ask but I was scared that if I did I would lose him so I just enjoyed it while I could.

I jumped away from him the moment I heard Iris's voice calling out for Barry in the lab, a few seconds later she appeared a grin on her face as she locked eyes with her boyfriend. She greeted him with a kiss "hey you"

"I-Iris, hi"

"I've been looking for you, I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight? It's been so long since we had a night in, just me and you"

He glances quickly at me and I look away, straightening out my costume and trying to avoid eye contact.

"C'mon I'll even cook, I'll make you that spaghetti you like, get some wine and some candles" she murmurs

"Uh… sure. What time should I be over?" he replies. Inwardly I wince, outwardly I act like nothing is wrong.

"8 should be fine, you should probably bring a change of clothes because you'll probably end up staying the night" she says giving him another kiss. She notices me in the corner and tenses slightly, ever since the Killer Frost debacle she's been a bit wary of me, not that I blame her. I did almost kill her boyfriend.

"Hey Caitlin" she says, awkwardly waving

"Hi Iris, how are you?" I ask politely, wanting more than anything to just run out of this room.

"I'm good… that's a nice suit, Cisco make it?"

"Yeah apparently, everyone on team flash needs to coordinate" I say with a roll of my eyes.

"You're on the team? Is that safe?" she asks, looking at the power nullifying cuffs I was wearing and I feel my temper flare. Is that safe? Like I was some wild animal that should be kept on a leash.

Barry steps in before I have a chance to react "Caitlin isn't dangerous Iris"

"She could have killed you!"

"That was an accident! And that was months ago, she's gained so much more control since then" he says defending me

She doesn't seem happy but she offers me a smile "I'm sorry"

I wave it off "I get it. But trust me Iris, if I didn't think it was safe I would never go out. And they're only going to use me in certain situations. We hope that by only using my powers occasionally I can gain more control over them"

She nods and gives Barry a kiss on the cheek before leaving "See you at 8".

Once she leaves he turns back to me "I'm sorry, she just doesn't understand. People are scared of what they don't understand"

I shrug "It's fine Barry, she's not going to be the only one who thinks it. I've just got to let it go"

"You see, when you say things like that you're giving me all the more reason to call you Elsa" Cisco says as he comes in, two coffees in his hands.

"My nickname is not going to be Elsa Cisco" I say as I take my coffee

"I know, I've already thought of it" he says as he hands Barry his drink. I'm interested now, perking up as I look at him expectantly.

"Frostbite"

I ponder it for a few seconds, thinking it over in my head before I finally smile "Frostbite, I like it"

Cisco does a weird fist bump with the air "Yes! I knew you'd like it"

I laugh as he runs off to his desk, muttering about how he should franchise the names. Then I turn back to Barry "So, I guess I won't see you tonight then"

A guilty look appears on his face "I'm sorry"

I shake my head "it's fine Barry, really. I knew what I was getting into. She's your girlfriend" I say with a shrug as I quickly get changed back into my work clothes. I notice him staring at me and give him a pointed look

"What? It's totally not fair of you to change in front of me. Who wouldn't get distracted?" he says with a smirk as he looks me up and down, I grab the nearest object, a towel and chuck it at him

"Perv" I mutter, rolling my eyes

"You know you love me"

I pause, my hands freezing in the middle of buttoning my shirt. I turn around, Barry is standing there looking sheepish and turning a spectacular shade of red "I..uh I didn't mean… I-I'm going to go now" he stammers before leaving the room in a hurry.

I turn to the mirror, a blush appearing on my cheeks. Did I love him? I knew that our situation was… complicated to say the least. I thought back to all the time we had spent together the last few months, how happy we had been and the familiar warm feeling that came whenever he was around spread through my chest. I loved him, I loved Barry Allen.

The only question was, did he love me?

….

(For Caitlin's suit I took inspiration from Black Widows suit in the avengers but with the same material from the flash and navy blue)


	7. Calm before the storm

Frostbite

Chapter 7

…..

I blushed as Barry and I locked eyes from across the lab, he was talking to Wells about the latest meta we had caught and I was discussing with Cisco our plans for the weekend

"There's this cool bar in the city that has flash themed drinks that we could all go to… Caitlin? You listening?"

I zone back in to the conversation, "What? Sorry Cisco, I just zoned out for a second"

He looks over to where I staring and rolls his eyes, "Come with me" he says, tugging me into another room.

"How long has it been going on?" he asks when we are alone.

"What? What are you talking about?" I ask, trying to act confused

"Don't play dumb, you two aren't exactly subtle. How long have you been seeing Barry?"

I sigh, biting my lip "A few months"

"A few months! Caitlin! How did this happen? He has a girlfriend, how could you do this to Iris?" he asks, confused and disappointed.

"I don't know, it just happened" I try to explain, fidgeting with my hair.

"How? How did it happen?"

"It was just after you found out about my powers, he was helping me through it and… it just happened"

He's still confused "So what? Is he leaving her? Are you guys getting together?" he asks

"I.. I don't know, we haven't exactly discussed it" I mutter, looking down at the floor.

"I'm so disappointed in you Cait, you're ruining a relationship and for what? A fling? And the worst bit is that you won't ask him to choose, you're just going to keep this going on until it breaks you."

"It's not like that!"

"Why? Because you love him? Because it's so obvious that you love him Caitlin and frankly it's a little pathetic" I flinch, hurt by his words and look back up.

"Look Caitlin…. I'm saying this because you're my friend and I love you. Please, just ask him, figure this out. I don't want you to get hurt" he says, his face softening when he sees my pain.

I hesitantly nod and go to hug him when the sound of the alarms interrupt us. Another metahuman in the city. We rush in and Barry and Wells are by the monitors, watching as a large explosion goes off in the middle of the city.

"What's going on?" I ask as I go beside Barry to have a look.

"Metahuman, seems to have the ability to cause large tremors, he's already wiped out a couple of shops downtown" Barry says before flashing into his suit. I quickly change into mine and meet him and Jesse outside.

"You sure you're up for this?" he asks hesitantly, this would be my first time out with them and I knew he was worried about my powers consuming me.

"I feel fine, This is what I've been practicing for Barry. I'll be ok"

He nods hesitantly before picking me up and flashing off towards the city.

…..

"Owww" Barry groans as I help him onto the medical bed. His suit is a little torn from being thrown by one of Aftershock's (cisco's name for him) tremors and he is a little bruised up but otherwise fine.

"I think you may have broken a few ribs, I'll need to check them to see if they're healing properly so suit off" I say, ignoring the smirk he sends me despite the pain he's in. I help him take the suit off and press my hands against his ribs, feeling to see what position they're in. He flinches when I touch him and I immediately raise my hands "What? Does it hurt?"

"No, it's not that… your hands are cold" he mumbles and I blush, looking down.

"Sorry, I live up to my name" I say, going over and grabbing the cuffs Cisco had made that would nullify my powers and slip them on before going back to check him over.

"You doing okay?" he asks as I check the already healing cut on his forehead.

"Uh… yeah, I mean I'm exhausted and a little sore but I'm doing okay" I say

Of the tremors had thrown me into a wall and Barry was being especially cautious, I was fine just a little banged up. Barry of course had freaked out when he saw the first sight of blood.

"Can I at least look at your head? You hit it pretty bad"

"Barry, two of your ribs are broken! You won't be moving from this bed for at least a couple of hours. I can take care of myself" I say exasperated

"I'm sorry if I'm being overbearing, I just worry about you" he apologises

"Well don't! It's not your job to worry about me!" I snap, the tension I feel inside snapping.

He frowns, looking away as if I'd slapped him. I feel bad when I see the hurt look on his face and sigh, the anger dissipating as I sit down on the bed next to him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be snapping at you. Not after how great you've been the last few months" I apologise

He turns back, "It's okay, something is obviously bothering you. Now are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

I look down at the bed, focusing on the clean white sheets draped over it "Cisco knows. Apparently, we're not very subtle… It just…he asked what this was" I say gesturing between us "And I couldn't say because I don't know and I don't know what this is to you and I didn't know where we stood and I-"

He hushes me, stopping my rambling as he takes my hands "You're not some meaningless fling Caitlin… I don't know what we are exactly and there's a lot to figure out but you mean so much to me. Can you just give me a little more time?"

I hesitate, how long was I willing to wait? Would it just be easier to let go of whatever this was? To just move on? I can feel his pulse under my palm as he squeezes my hands and I look up, immediately drawn into his green eyes. I picture everything from the last few months. Falling asleep on his shoulder on his couch at his apartment, having a popcorn fight as we watched a cheesy superhero movie, making love in my bed and falling asleep together.

I nod and he gives me a smile, embracing me. I could wait, I told myself. Everything was going to be just fine.

So why did it feel like a storm was coming?


	8. Decide

Frostbite

Chapter 8

….

Caitlin's POV

Warm kisses on my shoulder woke me from my sleep, I smiled a turned around in my bed to face Barry. "Morning" I mumbled as he pressed a quick kiss to my lips. He quickly flipped us over so my back was against the mattress and he was hovering over me, peppering kisses to my neck.

He brought his face back up to mine, staring into my eyes for a moment "God, even when you wake you're beautiful"

I blush and move to turn my head away but he nudges my chin up with his hand, locking our lips together again. I sigh into his mouth, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer.

We make out in the bed for a few minutes before I pull away "As much as I want this to continue we're going to be late and I still need a shower"

He pouts and reluctantly lets me get away from the bed. I turn to him just as I grab a couple of towels "You know, you probably need a shower too. And it's probably easier to save water if we just shower together"

He flashes us off to the bathroom before I can even finish my sentence, a shriek coming from me as he carries me over his shoulder.

….

We eventually make it to work, it's quiet. Cisco is busy working on new adjustments for my suit and Wells isn't here yet, I discretely squeeze his hand before going over to my desk. I work on a few projects until I notice Iris walking in, coffee and breakfast in hand. I look away as she greets Barry with a kiss, tuning out their conversation until suddenly she's in front of my desk, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Caitlin? You in there?"

I blink rapidly, suddenly zoning back int. She's standing there with Barry with a smile on her face "I'm sorry, I was a bit zoned out. What were you saying?" I ask, turning to her.

"There's this guy at work who I think would be perfect for you, I've already told him about you and he's keen. Do you think that maybe you could give it a shot?" she asks

I hesitate, Barry seems to tense up and Cisco smiles, coming over into the conversation "I think you should go for it Caitlin, it's not like you have anything going on, right?" he says raising an eyebrow.

My eyes flash to Barry for a second and he looks away, Disheartened I look back to Iris "You know what Iris?" I say grabbing a sticky note and a pen "Give him my number. I could use a night out" I say jotting down my number and passing it to Iris who takes it with a squeal of glee.

Barry looks furious but I ignore it, going back to my work. He goes back to his desk and I try my best to ignore the nagging ache in my chest when he kisses her goodbye, instead focusing on my work. When Iris leaves Barry storms off, going towards the workout room.

Cisco comes over, watching as Barry leaves "Geez he's mad, are you really going to go out with that guy?" he asks, sitting on the edge of my desk

"No…I don't know. I tried asking him, he said he needed time but that was a month ago! I don't know how much longer I can do this, I don't want to be the other woman anymore" I sigh, slumping onto my desk.

Cisco sympathetically pats my shoulder "I know it's tough, this is what I didn't want to happen. You need to get him to choose Cait, you can't keep going on like this"

I nod, squeezing his forearm "I know, thanks Cisco. I just need to find the right time"

He nods and gives me a sympathetic look before leaving me to mull over my thoughts.

….

Barry ignores me for most of the day, Iris comes back to go for lunch and he makes a big show of passionately kissing her in front of me, hurting me like I hurt him. We barely talk after that, only discussing work things when needed and avoiding being in the same room together. By the end of the day I've had enough and storm out, not even bothering to say goodnight, I think it was fairly obvious I was going to stay in my own apartment tonight.

I pour a glass of wine when I get back and play my voicemails. Paul, the guy Iris works with left a message asking if I wanted to get coffee sometime. He sounded nice but as I listened to the message I felt nothing. It was no use; the guy could be perfect and it wouldn't matter because he wasn't Barry.

I sigh and sip my wine, sitting in my empty loungeroom. My phone vibrates against my hip and I pull it out of my pocket. It's Barry, with a roll of my eyes I answer it.

"What do you want Barry?"

"I'm sorry"

"You should be" I snap

"I know, I want to make it up to you"

"How are you going to do that?"

"Open your door"

I frown and put down the phone, going to the door. When I open it, Barry is on the other side, red roses in his hand.

"I realise I've never given you flowers before" he says, holding them out to me.

I hesitantly take them, reluctantly allowing him inside.

"I'm sorry"

"So am I, I just…. I feel like I'm not important to you" I confess, looking away from him

He walks up to me "Is that what you think? That I don't care?" he cups my face in his hands, tilting my face up to his "Caitlin you are one of the best things in my life, how can you think that I don't care?"

"Because you can't choose, I can't even stay at your place for fear of someone finding out"

He frowns, before swiftly picking me up and flashing me to his apartment.

I sigh as he puts me down "I didn't say that to force you into letting me"

"I know, I want to show you something" he says tugging my hand and leading me to his room.

He stops in front of his drawers and pulls a drawer open "Ta Da!"

It's empty. I look to him, confused "An empty drawer? I don't get it"

"Not just an empty drawer, well it is but that's not the point. It's for you to put some things in, you know clothes, a toothbrush, pyjamas. You know, for when you spend the night"

I smile, looking at the drawer again before wrapping my arms around his neck "Thank you, but what if Iris finds my stuff?"

"She doesn't really spend the night much, am I forgiven for today?" he asks

I smile and press a quick kiss to his lips "You're forgiven. You know, since I'm already here I might as well stay the night"

"Chinese food?"

"Yes, I'm starving!" I moan, kissing him again. He wraps his arms around my waist and walks us back to his bed, knocking us onto it. I lock my legs around his hips, pulling him closer and he groans, pulling my shirt out of my skirt.

I moan and start to unbutton his shirt, running my hands over his abs and eliciting moans from him. His mouth pulls away from mine and instead latches onto my neck, biting down gently on the soft skin there. My stomach rumbles suddenly, making him chuckle and pull away as I flush from embarrassment.

"Hold that thought, I'm going to go order the food" he says leaving the room with a smile. I lay on the bed, content and blissed out.

And then his phone buzzes.

Thinking it could be Cisco or Wells with an emergency I unlock his phone, a message from Iris flashes onto the screen.

 _Can't wait to see you tomorrow ;) I love you_

My stomach plummets like a stone in a river and I get up, straightening my clothes as I grab my coat from the living room. Barry gets up from the computer, confused as he watches me angrily grab my things "Cait? What's going on?"

"I'm leaving" I snap, pulling my coat on

He immediately comes over "What? Why? What's going on?"

I shove his phone into his hand "your phone went off"

He unlocks his phone just as I leave, angry tears streaming down my face. I hear him running after me, shouting my name.

"Cait! Caitlin wait!" he shouts grabbing my wrist

"Why should I?" I snap "So you can make more false promises? So I can hear more of your lies?"

"Caitlin…"

"It's always going to be her, isn't it? You're never going to choose and I can't keep doing this. I can't keep sneaking around like this. DO you have any idea what it feels like for me to watch you you two in public? Any idea of how much that hurts? I want to be able to hold your hand in public, I want to be able to kiss you without worrying who might see. But you're never going to choose and I deserve better" I say wrenching my hand out of his wrist.

"What am I supposed to do?" he shouts

"I don't know, do want you want to do Barry. If you want Iris, then fine and if you want me then great. Just decide"

He seems torn, internally debating and I've had enough. "I'm not the type of girl that does this but I am today. Don't stay with her Barry, choose me. I love you, I've always loved you! And I know that Iris is perfect for you and I know there's a hundred reasons why she's the better choice but Barry, I'm crazy about you. So, this is me saying it, this is me not being scared. Choose me"

Shock is written all over his face as I say my little speech, his eyes widening as I told him I loved him. I'm out of breath when I'm finished, breathing heavily as I wait for him to say something.

"Caitlin…." Anguish crosses over his face "I-I can't…. I'm sorry…. I just can't"

I can swear my heart simultaneously stopped and shattered in that moment. I turn and rush off, not wanting to hear anything else. It's raining when I go outside, water dripping down my face and mingling with my tears as I furiously rub my eyes. I don't bother calling a cab, instead walking to my house, blisters on my feet and freezing cold when I get home. I only make it a few steps before I collapse to the floor in tears, sobbing as the pain in my chest overwhelmed me.


	9. Break

Frostbite

Chapter 9

…..

I stare at the computer, mindlessly reading through a new medical article on the internet and doing my best to keep my eyes away from Barry talking to Wells a few metres away. Every now and then I glance up, giving my eyes a break from the harsh light of the screen and we'd locked eyes once, the pain flaring up in my chest and making me look away.

It had been weeks since we had last properly spoken and the tension in the room was palpable to everyone but Wally, who had no clue what was going on and Iris, who occasionally dropped in to visit. Cisco had tried to talk to me a few times during the week but I had pushed him away, saying that I didn't want to talk about it and would rather focus on my work.

But despite the pain and the anger I felt I still continued to be the best doctor possible, wordlessly bandaging his wounds and checking him over when he would come back from a battle.

Still, sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to heal from all of this if I took a leave of absence, got away for a while and put some distance between Barry and I. Surely ripping out the metaphorical stitches in my chest every time I saw him would only prolong my recovery.

As I ponder this I don't notice Cisco going for lunch, dragging a confused Wally and an agitated Wells out with him and leaving only Barry and I in the lab. I start to look at potential places to go away to on my computer, not noticing Barry walking up behind me.

"Going somewhere?" his voice surprises me, making me jump.

"Jesus Barry! _Don't_ do that" I huff, briefly grabbing my chest "And not that it's any of your business but I'm considering taking a short break" I say getting up from my desk, desperate to get as far away from this conversation as possible.

His next words both make me want to burst into tears and slap him across the face, making pause my hasty retreat from the room.

"Why?"

I turn back around, staring at him angrily "Really? You really have no idea why I'd want to leave for a bit?"

A guilty look crosses his face and he steps forward "Caitlin I'm sorry"

"Don't" I say, raising a hand to keep him away "It's my fault really, I obviously put more meaning on the relationship, if you could even call it that, than you did. I asked you to choose… and you did"

"Don't say that, don't brush us off as if we were nothing Caitlin. It was more than that, you know it was more than that" He says, frustration evident in his tone.

"Of course I know it was more than that! I _loved_ you! More than I had ever loved anybody before. And do you want to know the worst part? Despite all of this, despite everything I still love you. But you chose her, so… I guess that's just something I'm going to have to get over" I say, leaving the room before I did something I'd regret.

….

Later that day Barry gets injured while helping stop a bank robbery. A bullet to the chest and a few broken ribs which will heal within a day but that doesn't stop the feeling of fear wrapping around my heart when I first see the blood on his torn-up suit.

He's in and out of consciousness while I do my best to fix him, working against his rapid healing abilities as I quickly extract the bullet and make sure there's no more further damage. Later on, when he's all bandaged up and my hands are clean from his blood I sit by his side, waiting for him to wake up. Iris will be coming by straight after work and I don't feel right leaving to wake up alone.

He groans as he slowly regains consciousness, blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the lights. He relaxes slightly when he notices me and gives me a small smile which I put down to the amount of morphine currently flowing through his blood.

"Hey" he mumbles sleepily

"Hey, how're you feeling?" I ask

"Sore, my ribs hurt but otherwise just tired"

"That's probably just the pain meds, it'll wear off soon" I say, avoiding eye contact as I stand to check his vitals.

"I'm sorry Caitlin" he whispers and I pause, looking down at him.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, for everything. I never wanted to hurt you"

"…. Barry, I-" I'm interrupted by Iris running into the room and flinging her arms around his neck.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" she cries as she presses kisses to his face.

"I'll give you some time alone" I say, awkwardly leaving the room before he can say anything else.

…..

"You'll probably be sore for the next day or so, so don't be afraid to take some painkillers. Just take it easy for the next few days and call me if you develop a fever or any signs of infection" I say to Barry as I finish checking his bandages.

"Thanks, I know this can't have been easy on you. I wouldn't have blamed you if you had just let me bleed to death" he says with a chuckle

I don't laugh at his joke, snapping off my gloves and disposing of them in a bin nearby "Don't be ridiculous, you're my patient first and foremost. I would never let my personal feelings interfere with that"

"Still" he says, a small smile on his face "I'm grateful"

He pauses before he leaves the room to head home, "Caitlin?"

"Yes?"

"If you want to take a break, I completely understand… just know, there would be no Flash with Caitlin Snow" he says before giving me a smile and leaving.

I never did end up taking that break.

….


	10. When everything comes caving down

Frostbite

Chapter 10

…

I'd worked through lunch again, politely declining Cisco's invitation to go to Belly burger, he'd want to talk and I just needed to not think about it. My powers seemed to be going haywire as well, the stress making them harder to control. I had to take the cuffs off to charge when I slept and for the last week I'd wake to a room full of ice.

I stifled a yawn as I kept working, it was around 5.30 now and everyone was getting ready to go home. I'd been working on this new serum that could possibly increase Barry's speed all day and despite how exhausted I was I needed the distraction.

"Another late-night Caitlin?" Cisco asked as he passed my desk

"You know me, I love my work" I say not even looking up from the computer

I hear him sigh before saying his goodbyes, leaving me on my own. Or at least I thought I was until I heard Barry cough from his station, immediately attracting my attention. I look up, Barry is standing there awkwardly.

"I thought you were gone" I say, looking back to my computer.

"I wanted to talk to you"

I inhale sharply "There's nothing to talk about, you should go. I'm sure Iris is waiting"

"Caitlin..."

"What? What do you want from me Barry? You think that we can just go back to being friends? Well it doesn't work like that!" I shout, standing up

We're interrupted by his phone ringing, he pulls it out of his pocket and glances at it before tensing up. I know just by looking at him that it's Iris.

"Well you better answer it. Don't want to keep her waiting" I snap, grabbing my things and pushing past him.

….

"I'm worried about you" Cisco says as we sit down for coffee.

"I'm fine"

"Those shadows under your eyes beg to differ" he says pointing to my eyes

"I'm just…. I'm having trouble sleeping at the moment" I confess, running a hand through my hair

"Are you sure you don't want me to beat him up? Because he's my friend and I love him and all but I totally would"

I laugh "As amusing as that would be to watch I just, I want to try and deal with this with a little dignity"

"Okay but just say the word and I'll do it" he says mockingly waving his fists around.

After we finish our coffee we head off for work, Barry and Wells are busy running around when we enter.

"What's going on?" Cisco asks as we put our things down.

"Hostage situation in the city. He's demanding to see the flash." Wells says as he looks at the monitors. "He has a metahuman with him, she seems to have fire powers. I think we might need Caitlin for this one" he says looking at me.

I nod and go to get dressed, I notice Iris is here when I enter the room along with Wally in his kid-flash outfit. I look away when she kisses Barry goodbye and stand awkwardly next to Wally.

I notice that Barry looks at me once he pulls away and avoid eye contact as he swiftly picks me up, flashing us to the building where the situation was. There's a group of people on the floor, the meta standing by, fire coming from her hands in a threatening way.

"Okay, I'm here so you don't need to hurt anyone. Just let these people go and we can talk" Barry says as he puts me down, approaching the gunman.

He laughs, waving his gun around "You think that I'm just going to let them go? No flash, I want you to pay. And since I can't kill you I'm going to kill all these people and it'll be your fault"

"Pay for what? What did I do?" Barry asks

"That other one, the one in the black suit. My wife died because of him, because of you. This is all your fault, you have to pay" he yelled

"You don't have to do this" I called out, stepping out despite Barry trying to stop me "I know what you're going through, it's how I felt when my husband died. You're just so full of rage and you want to take it out on someone, anyone if it will stop the pain for a second. But we can help you, you don't have to do this"

"Cait stop" Barry says reaching out and trying to stop me when I got too close.

That catches the gunman's attention "Oh this is just perfect, you love her don't you Flash? Well it doesn't seem fair that you get to keep your love and I don't. Tell you what, You can have your hostages, I just want her" he says redirecting the gun towards my head

"Caitlin!" Barry yells, rushing forwards until he hears the man cock the gun.

"Flash, do what he says. Get the hostages out. It's okay" I say as he turns me around, making me lock eyes with Barry.

"Caitlin no" Barry tries to argue but I shake my head.

"Just get them out of here, I'll be okay"

Barry shakes his head, turning to Wally "Get the hostages out"

"Are you sure?" Wally asks warily

We both nod and he gives me a supportive smile before ushering the hostages outside. Once we're alone Barry turns back to us.

"You have it all wrong you know? He doesn't love me" I say as I feel the cool metal of the gun being pushed against the back of my head.

Barry frowns and the man laughs, a chill running down my spine at the sound "Oh I'm not so sure my dear, so what do you say Flash? An eye for an eye?"

"Please just let her go, you can do what you want to me just let her go" Barry pleads

The man laughs again "I'm sorry Flash, no can do. Besides, I was never going to let you live anyway"

And then an explosion goes off, the roof caving in and sending us all into darkness.


	11. Aftermath

Frostbite

Chapter 11

….

Barry's POV

I woke to the smell of smoke, my ribs throbbing as I slowly pushed myself up. I was surrounded by fire and thick black acrid smoke. The gunman was on the floor a few metres away from me, still and not breathing, debris crushing him. What happened? The last thing I remember was the man pointing a gun at Caitlin and-

Caitlin.

Where was Caitlin?

"Caitlin?' I screamed, immediately pushing through the rubble, looking for the familiar auburn hair "Caitlin, where are you?!"

I could hear Wally yelling out and the sounds of emergency services from outside and continued to look "Caitlin answer me!"

I caught a glimpse of a pale hand lying underneath part of the roof and flashed over, lifting the debris off despite the pain it caused my ribs.

Blood. Blood everywhere.

And one very still body.

"Caitlin! Oh god!" I crashed to the floor beside her, she was unconscious but breathing, a small pool of blood underneath her head. She was covered in cuts and burns and her leg was bent at an unnatural angle, twisted and out of place. I almost retched on the floor next to me when I caught sight of her stomach, a pole was sticking out of her abdomen.

"Oh god, oh god. No, no no no no" I muttered as my shaking hands moved around her wound, I tried to communicate through the comms but the explosion must have screwed with them as all I heard was static. I quickly ripped off part of the sleeve of my suit and laid it next to her, preparing myself. After a few deep breaths, I quickly pulled out the pole, pressing the fabric pieces against the wound which was now gushing blood.

"Cait? Stay with me Caitlin" I murmured as I quickly picked her up, immediately flashing her in the direction of the lab. I laid her on the medical bed as Wells and Cisco run in, already grabbing things.

"S-she…there was a pole, I had to take it out" I stammer as they immediately start working on her.

"Blood pressure's low, pulse is thready" Cisco says as he checks her over

"I need to open her up, I can't stop the bleeding otherwise" Wells explains, already prepping her for surgery.

My heart stops when her does. A high-pitched tone piercing the room. Immediately they start to work on getting her back, pumping oxygen into her lungs as Wells pushes down on her chest.

"Come on Cait, come on" I mutter as they try to restart her heart "Please don't do this, come on"

I flinch when they use the defibrillators, her body surging off the table as they shocked her. It made no change and they went back to doing CPR. Iris tried to pull me out of the room but I shrugged her arm off. I have to be here, I need to be here.

They manage to restart her heart and I let out a sigh of relief, watching as they started to operate.

"Barry, come on. We'll just get in the way" Iris says and I let her drag me out, sitting at my desk in shock. She helps me clean the blood off my suit and hands, waiting for me to talk.

"This is my fault"

She immediately starts shaking her head, disposing of the bloody towel she was using and taking my hand "No, don't do that to yourself Barry. You had no idea what was going to happen"

"I should've gotten her out of there faster, I should have protected her. Now she's in there and it's because of me" I snap, rubbing my face with my hand

She tenses, her hand leaving mine "Barry…. I heard what that man said"

"Then you know just as well as I do that it's my fault"

She ignores me and continues on "He thought you were in love, that's why he aimed the gun at her. An eye for an eye…. Why would he think that?"

"Iris this really isn't the time"

"Not the time for what? What's going on with you?"

"Just drop it okay!" I snap "Caitlin is in there fighting for her life, we're not having this conversation now"

"Just talk to me Barry, please" she says attempting to move closer and I get up

"I need some air, I'll be back soon" I say before flashing out of there as fast as I can and to Caitlin's apartment. I still have my key so I don't have to break in, her blanket is laying on the couch which gives me the impression that she's been sleeping there a lot lately. I go to her room and sit down on the bed, inhaling the familiar scent of vanilla and citrus from Caitlin's perfume.

Usually I would find this oddly calming, comforting even but now the scent just overpowers me and I can feel her blood dried up under my nails. I feel the bile rise up in my throat and flash to the bathroom, retching into the toilet as tears begin to stream down my face. I vomit until nothing but stomach bile comes up and then collapse against the toilet, sobbing into my hands.

…

6 hours pass until my phone rings, Cisco telling me that Caitlin is out of surgery. I flash back to the lab, red bloodshot eyes and pale skin, hands shaking as I see Cisco, Wells and Iris grouped together.

"How is she? Is she…. Is she okay?" I ask, my voice trembling

"She made it through surgery but she's not out of the woods yet. Along with the internal injuries she suffered a major head trauma and a broken leg and ribs. She suffered major blood loss so we should probably do a transfusion, hopefully that will help" Wells explained

"I'll do the transfusion. We're the same blood type" I say, already going to sit down while they fetch the necessary equipment. They take me into her room and sit me beside her bed, she's pale. Ghostly white and there are bandages wrapped around her head, an oxygen tube under her nose, one of her legs is plastered and propped up on pillows and she's connected to various machines and IVs.

I don't even flinch when they insert the needle, blood flowing down a tube into a machine which filters it into Caitlin's body. They can take a little more out because of my healing abilities but eventually they have to take the needle out, bandaging my arm and leaving us alone.

I sigh, taking her hand "I'm so sorry Cait, this is all my fault. I should have stopped him, should have protected you"

Her machines beep, the sound echoing through the silent room as I continue to talk to her "Iris heard what the gunman said, she asked me why he would think I loved you…. It's because I do, God Cait I love you so much and I know that I've hurt you and that I don't deserve another chance but please. Please just wake up so I can spend the rest of my life making it up to you"

I kiss her hand lovingly and sit there waiting for her to wake up.

…

"Why isn't she waking up? It's been almost 24 hours!" I ask as I pace next to her bed.

"She went through a massive trauma, that coupled with the surgery and the blood loss, her body is trying to heal. You've got to give it time Barry" Wells said, trying to calm me down.

"What about her head? You said there was trauma to the head. What if there's brain damage?"

He shakes his head "I just checked her vitals and the MRI showed she has a moderate concussion and some bruising on the brain. No bleeds, no swelling"

"Barry, you need to calm down, she's going to be alright she's just taking her time waking up" Cisco interjects

"how can I calm down! What would you do if the woman you loved was lying in a bed unconscious?"

"What?"

Iris is standing there, a hurt and shocked expression on his face.

I look at her, trying to find the words to explain but I just utter useless sounds "I…I…uh"

"Barry why don't you and Iris go for a walk? We'll call you the second anything happens" Cisco suggest and I awkwardly nod, following Iris as she rushes out of the room.

"Iris! Iris wait!"

"You cheated on me! With Caitlin!" she snaps as she walks out of the lab

"Just let me explain, please Iris"

She whips around, angry tears leaking from her eyes as she glares at me "Okay then. Explain. Explain! How long has this been going on?"

"A few months, it started after her powers surfaced"

"MONTHS! This has been going on for months! How could you do this to me? I thought we meant something! I thought that we were 'destined to be together'" she shouts

"Iris I'm so-" I'm cut off by her palm hitting my cheek, the shock and force of the hit sends me backwards.

"Don't! Do not tell me you're sorry Barry, if you were sorry you would have told me, you wouldn't have declared your love for her in front of everyone! I am humiliated! Just stay the hell away from me" she cries, rushing out.

I stand there for a few minutes, my cheek stinging and feeling incredibly guilty. I never should have let this get so out of control and now I had hurt two of the most important people in my life. I go back inside, ignoring Wells and Cisco's questioning looks and sit by Caitlin again.

I take her hand again "Hey it's me again. Just so you know I'm not leaving you again so I'd really appreciate it if you opened those brown eyes for me. I'll be here waiting"

…..


	12. Come Back

Frostbite

Chapter 12

….

Caitlin's POV

My mouth was dry, that was the first thing I was aware of. Like I hadn't had water for days. My body ached and I found it incredibly hard to open my eyes, bright lighting blinding me and making me shut them again. What had happened? Why was I so sore? There was something under my nose that was bothering me and I slowly reach a hand up to touch it, before I could a hand gently clasped mine.

"It's okay, that's just your oxygen tube" Barry's voice rang through my ears.

I slowly opened my eyes again, the lights dimmed down this time as I rapidly blinked.

"Hey, you're awake" he said softly, a smile stretching across his face, I try to say something but my throat is dry and my voice coarse and I ended up coughing.

He grabs a cup of water from the table next to us and holds the straw to my mouth "little sips" he warns as I gratefully sip from the straw.

"What happened?" I rasp as he helps me lay back on the pillow

"Bomb went off, you were impaled. I'm sorry Cait I should have done something" he says, guilt visible on his face.

I manage a weak smile "You saved my life" I say tiredly, I was still woozy from the medication and blood loss and even just sitting here talking was tiring me out.

Barry seems to see that I'm exhausted and gently presses a kiss to my head "Rest Cait, we can talk more when you wake up" he whispers just as I doze off again.

…..

The next time I wake up I feel tired but slightly less out of it than before. I notice now that my leg is in a cast and propped up on a pillow and I can feel bandages around my torso, Barry had said that I was impaled but I was wondering what else had happened since I couldn't remember any of it.

"You're up" Barry says from where he was reading in the chair beside my bed "How are you feeling? Should I go get Harry?" he asks, putting down his book.

"I'm okay, just sore" I say, adjusting in the bed "How long was I out?"

"Two days, Harry said that it was just your body recovering from the blood loss" he says taking my hand gently.

"How bad is it?" I ask, straining to look at my entire body, he helps me to lie up against the pillow, gently grasping my shoulder as he props the pillow behind my back.

"Your right leg and three of your ribs are broken, you hit your head pretty hard and he had to remove a part of your spleen but Harry said that you should make a full recovery" he says, brushing back some hair from my forehead "You scared the crap out of me you know"

"I'm sorry"

"No, I'm sorry, it's my fault. He targeted you because of me, because he thought I loved you"

I give him a small smile "Well even super villains have to make mistakes sometimes"

He looks down, fidgeting with my hand "he didn't make a mistake"

I frown, "Wh-What? But Iris..."

He shakes his head, "It's over, we could never work…not when I'm in love with someone else" our eyes interlock again just as his hand glides up to my face, cupping my cheek "I love you Caitlin"

A giant smile erupts across my face just as his lips meet mine, my hand goes to wrap around his neck and my ribs protest, causing me to wince and him to pull away quickly.

"What is it? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" he asks worriedly

"No" I smile, "I'm okay, my ribs just ache a bit"

"I'll go get Harry, you're probably due for another shot of morphine" he says, pressing a kiss to my head and flashing off.

Moments later they're back, Wells brandishing a rather large syringe in his hand. It only takes a couple of minutes for the morphine to kick in, sending me into a deep sleep again.

…..

When I wake, it's to a world of agony. I'm covered in a thin sheen of sweat as my body shakes uncontrollably, drenching my sheets. My head throbs painfully, my eyes finding it hard to focus through the waves of pain. My leg feels as if someone is pulling it in two different directions and my entire torso is on fire, my writhing only making it worse.

My bleary eyes look around for Barry or Wells but I can't seem to spot anyone. With a supressed cry of pain, I pull myself up, panting as I look to the tray next to my bed, hoping to find some morphine. I groan, gritting my teeth as I look through the various pieces of equipment but none seem to be the tiny vial I'm looking for.

"Cait I just went to grab som- What are you doing? God you're supposed to be resting!" Barry shouts as he comes in, catching me just before my body gives out and I fall off the side of the bed.

"I-I'm ss-sorry" I say, shivering as he helps me back onto the bed.

"What were you doing? What do you need babe?"

"P-Painkillers…it hurts" I groan, my body twisting in the bed and making me cry out.

He presses a hand to my forehead "Shit, you're burning up. How long have you been like this?"

"I…I don't know" I mumble, pressing my head into his chest

"Fuck Cait, where the hell is Harry? Harry! We need help in here!" he yells, his voice echoing throughout the lab.

"What's going on?" Wells asks as he comes in

"I found her trying to administer her own painkillers! I thought you said you were going to take care of her, I was only gone for 30 minutes!"

"I only stepped out for ten minutes maybe"

"Yeah well now she's running a fever, look at her she's shaking!"

Wells comes over and checks my temperature "You could be developing an infection. I'm going to put you on some antibiotics just in case and I'll give you some more pain killers to help you sleep" he says, hanging up a bag of antibiotics and giving me some more painkillers. He leaves in a hurry after that, Barry glaring at his back as he rushes out.

"Stop it, it was an accident" I say, gently swatting his shoulder

"You could have seriously hurt yourself because of him Cait. What if I hadn't walked in? You could have fallen and caused even more damage and I can't… I can't do that again"

I shush him, brushing his cheek with my palm "Hey, I'm okay. Nothing happened alright, I'm going to be okay"

He sniffs, rubbing his eyes "I know, I know. But I can't stop thinking about you, lying on that table as they tried to restart your heart. You died Caitlin. For a minute or so you were dead and I…I can't go through that again"

"You won't have to, I'm going to be fine remember?"

He smiles, pressing him cheek further into my hand, "I'm never going to let you out of my sight you know"

I groan, a smile on my face to show I'm joking "Great. And I can't even escape because of this bum leg. Whatever are we going to do in the meantime?"

He smiles again, bringing his face closer "I'm sure we can think of something" he says as he brings his lips down onto mine again.


	13. Rest and recover

Frostbite

Chapter 13

…

"No way"

"Oh come on, you know I'm right"

"No way Caitlin, team Iron Man all the way!" Barry says as we sit on the couch back at his apartment.

"You've got to be kidding, there's no way he has the better team!"

"He has Black Panther! And Vision! Not to mention Black Widow"

"Oh, now I get it, I knew there was a reason you were so excited about her getting a solo movie," I say with a laugh, rolling my eyes

"Well yeah, have you seen her suit?"

I scoff, flinging popcorn at him "You're disgusting! I thought you were supposed to be making me feel better not worse"

He smirks, moving up on the couch beside my propped-up leg, I laugh, swatting his shoulder "Yeah, not happening Bar, I still have two more weeks in this cast"

He groans, turning back to the movie "Maybe a superhero movie isn't the best thing to watch, kind of tacky, isn't it?"

"Yeah well, I've watched everything else at least twice, Ugh I'm so over being cooped up in here. Not that I don't appreciate you taking care of me the last few weeks Barry, it's just you go into work and I'm stuck here" I whine, pouting

"you know what Harry said Cait, you need to be resting. You're starting physical therapy soon"

"I know, I know… please just take me with you one day. Just one day! That's all I'm asking, I'll stay in the wheelchair the whole time just please, get me out of here" I beg, cozying up to him, my hand gently squeezing his thigh as I stare up at him.

"Ugh, how am I supposed to say no to that face?" He groans "Fine, you can come to the lab with me for a couple of hours but no work okay? You're supposed to be resting"

I squeal, wrapping my arms around his neck and peppering his face with kisses "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Yeah yeah, now, it's getting late. Let's get you to bed" he says, picking me up like he's been doing every night since I came here.

"Barry?"

"Yeah?"

"We might not be able to do _that_ just yet but… there are other things we can do" I say, brushing my fingertips against his chest.

"I love you," he says as he speeds us off to the bedroom.

…..

"Hey guys, look who's here!" Barry announces as he wheels me into the lab, I'm greeted by Cisco running over and giving me a big hug, being careful not to knock my ribs.

"Caitlin, you're here!" he says happily as he pulls away

"Yeah, I finally persuaded this one to let me out for a bit" I say, lighting slapping Barry's leg. He makes a face of mock pain, dramatically grabbing his leg.

"After all I've done for you! This is how you repay me!" he mockingly weeps. I laugh watching as he fake storms off to his desk.

"Wow, I haven't seen him joke like that in a while. Maybe you should be here every day" Cisco jokes

"Well as soon as this stupid cast comes off I'll be back, don't worry"

"I'm sure he'll love that, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to handcuff you to your desk" Cisco says with a roll of his eyes.

I laugh, "Don't give him any ideas. Please tell me you have something for me to do"

He smiles, "c'mon I'll show you the new suit I've been working on" he says, wheeling me off towards his station

….

3 hours later and I'm exhausted, I have been helping Cisco with his new suit and then did some paperwork I had lying around before my accident. Wells wanted to see how I was healing so he gave me some crutches to use instead of my wheelchair. The first hour or so was great but now my leg is starting to throb and my forehead is starting to sweat.

I gently ease myself onto one of the couches in the lab, propping my leg on a chair. I'm drifting in and out of sleep when Barry walks by, pausing when he sees me.

"Cait? You alright?" he asks as he comes over

I sit up, rubbing my eyes "Hmm? Yeah, no I'm fine. Just a little tired" I say, stifling a small yawn.

He sighs, sitting down next to me "I told you not to overdo it, you should have told Harry it was too soon for the crutches"

I ignore his comment, settling my head on his shoulder "You know I used to spend whole days on my feet, part of being a doctor but now… now I can't even stand for an hour without getting completely exhausted"

He kisses the top of my head, threading our fingers together "You'll get back to normal Cait, it just takes time. And until then, you can ask for help, let me take care of you instead of the other way around"

"You have been taking care of me, you've been fantastic" I say, pressing my lips to his shoulder "I just hate feeling so helpless, so out of control. I haven't felt this way since my powers surfaced"

"It'll get better Caitlin, and if I'm ever being too much, you can tell me. I just want to help"

"Does this mean you're okay with me coming to work with you more often?" I ask, hopefully

"…That'd be nice, just so long as you don't overdo it"

I say, giving him a quick yet sweet kiss "Thank you"

"Yeah well, I couldn't have my girlfriend going stir crazy at home, I rather like her sane"

I smile, quirking my brow "Girlfriend?"

"Yeah" he says with a look of slight confusion on his face "Well yeah, I mean we love each other and you've been staying at my house for the last month"

"I know I just….. after what happened with Iris. And we never really discussed what this was" I say, looking down and fidgeting with my nails.

"Caitlin, I want to be with you, I love you and we practically live together. You're my girlfriend okay?" he says, and a giant smile breaks across my face. I look up and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a swift kiss.

Moments later we're interrupted by Cisco making screaming noises as he walks by.


	14. The first time (again)

Frostbite

Chapter 14

…

"That's it Caitlin you're doing great"

"C'mon keep going babe"

I let out a groan of exhaustion as I take another small step, holding onto the bars beside me as if my life was depending on it. Sweat is trickling down my temple and my arms and legs ache from exhaustion but I'm determined to push myself. I've been in physical therapy for a week and only managed a few steps so far.

"C'mon Cait just one more step, you can do this" Barry says from where he and Wells are watching, ready to help if need be.

I groan and shakily raise my bad leg, slowly moving it forward until it rests flat on the floor. I let out a cry of victory as I reach the end of the platform, a tired yet ecstatic smile on my face. Barry comes forward, a water bottle in his hands and I collapse into his arms, letting him help me back into my wheelchair.

"You did so great" he says giving me a quick kiss.

I smile tiredly, taking the water bottle from him and taking a huge swig "Thanks, god I'm tired"

"You did very well Caitlin, I think you can move permanently to the crutches in the next few days" Wells says with a small smile.

"What? And have this one stop pushing me around everywhere?" I joke, pointing at Barry "What about the cast? When can that come off?" I ask eagerly

"Well… today actually. I'm going to put your leg in a brace for a bit while you recover but you'll be able to take it off for baths"

I'm almost tempted to jump out of this chair and hug him as I hear those words. After all these week, after all the itching and the having to wrap my leg in clingwrap whenever I had a bath I would finally be able to see my own leg again.

I give him a beaming smile and excitedly grab Barry's hand as he helps me up on the table. 20 minutes later he saw off the crusty cast and I see my leg for the first time in months. There are scars, ugly red marks above my knee cap and shin where they had to drill in to try and set the bone but I don't care.

Barry notices me staring at the scars and squeezes my hand "They'll fade Cait"

"Oh no, they don't bother me, it's just that… I didn't think I'd ever see it again, my leg. I know that sounds weird but I thought I was going to die that day and now I'm sitting here, fine. I think it's just catching up to me that's all" I confess, my voice slightly trembling

"You're okay, you're here with me. It's going to take time to move on but I'm going to be here every step of the way alright?" he says and I nod, squeezing his hand gratefully.

Once Wells has shown me how to use the brace and I've taken a few test walks with it we head home, after 2 months in a cast my leg kinda smells and I'm desperate for bath.

…..

Later that day I'm sitting on the bed, carefully rubbing lotion onto my clean skin. Barry walks in and groans as he takes in the fact that I'm wearing short shorts and one of his t shirts.

"Seriously? That is so not fair" he grumbles as he walks past to his dresser to get some pyjama pants.

"What? It's supposed to be good for healing scars?" I say, wiping my hands with a towel

"Not that. _That!_ " he says, gesturing to my attire.

"I always wear your shirts, if you want it I can take it off" I suggest and he groans again

"Please don't say things like that, not when we can't do anything" he whines as he gets changed.

"Uh Barry?"

"What?"

"You do realise that I got my cast off, right? You were there" I ask with a bemused grin

"Yes, and?"

"Well the cast was the reason we couldn't… you know. So now that it's gone…" I trail off, leaving him to figure it out.

His face lights up like a lightbulb and I know he's figured it out "Oh, _oh…_ Are you sure?"

"Well I can't do much and it'll be a while before we can do anything crazy but as long as we're careful" I say with a smirk, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling him closer until he's standing in front of me.

I reach up and cup his face, bringing him down for a passionate kiss, I feel his hands gently grabbing my waist, just under the hem of his shirt. Without a second thought I remove my hands from his face and grab the edge of his shirt pulling it over my head. He gently pushes me onto the bed, my back hitting the bed as he presses kisses to my jaw.

He pauses as his thumb grazes over the waistband of my shorts "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you"

I nod, passing him a pillow to prop my leg up on "I'll be fine, make love to me Barry"

He doesn't need much more convincing after that, pulling down my pyjamas as his mouth latches onto one of my breasts. I groan and thread my fingers through his hair, tugging gently. I don't need much encouragement, weeks of pent up tension making me already wet when one of his fingers slides inside me but still he pumps in and out until I writhing on the bed and practically ready to flip us over.

It isn't slow, careful lovemaking, two people slowly taking their time and getting reacquainted with each other. No, it's fast, passionate sex between two people who thought they had lost each other. We're as careful as we can be with my leg but soon I find myself clinging onto to him for dear life, crying out as we both reach our climax.

He gently pulls out and falls on the bed next to me, both of us basking in the afterglow of our love making. After a few minutes, he rolls onto his side and wraps an arm around my middle, pulling me close and allowing me space to rest my head on his chest as he nuzzles my neck.

"I love you Cait" he mumbles into my neck and I pull him closer, whispering my love back. We fall asleep together on that bed, the last rays of light streaming in through our window and onto us.


	15. Date Night

Frostbite

Chapter 15

…..

Now that I was getting through physical therapy I was able to go back to work, not yet allowed to go out on missions until Wells said so. Which meant that most of my time was spent reading through test results, medical articles and doing paperwork. But it did mean that I got to spend more time with Barry and Cisco so I wasn't entirely bored.

Wally had avoided talking to Barry and I at all costs since our relationship had been exposed and I hated that I had ruined that friendship, feeling incredibly guilty. Iris hadn't come by the lab since, not that I could blame her, if it were the other way around I would want to stay as far away as possible.

All of that came to a stop the day Wally was attacked by an unknown meta calling himself Savitar, when Iris arrived to see me looking after him she all but shoved me to the floor, screaming at me to get the hell away from her brother.

Barry quickly intervened but Iris was adamant that she wanted me nowhere near Wally, that I was too dangerous to keep around and that if Barry was smarter he'd lock me up in a cell and throw away the key. I will never forget the look in her eyes as she glared at me, a mix of anger, disgust and fear.

Surprisingly it was Wally who came to my defense first, telling Iris that I wasn't dangerous, that he'd trust me with his life and that it wasn't her choice to make if he continued to work on the team. She wasn't happy to say the least and had flat out refused to come back since then.

Meanwhile Barry was trying to find what he could on this new meta, looking for any weaknesses or vulnerabilities. He'd spend night after night in the lab, training and researching and I'd often find him passed out at his desk, placing a blanket over him as I read through his notes.

Savitar had warned that he would be back and I could see that it was eating at Barry, draining him and leaving him stressed and tense every day. A loud clatter echoed through the lab from where the gym was and I sighed, walking in to find Barry wildly hitting at a punching bag.

"Barry?" I called out, not wanting to surprise him as I walked up "Babe what's going on?"

"Nothing Cait, I'm fine" he says blankly, continuing to hit the bag in front of him.

"No, you're not. C'mon" I say touching the back of his arms tentatively, I wrap my arms around his middle, clinging to his back "Talk to me, tell me what's going on through your head"

He sighs, relaxing slightly "I just… I don't know how I can beat this guy. I have no idea how I'm going to save everyone this time"

"Well it's a good thing you're not alone then. We'll figure this out Barry, we always do" I say, holding him tighter

"I don't know, it just feels…different this time. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen" he confesses, turning in my arms until he faces me.

"You know you don't have to be the tough one every second of every day, it's okay to be scared Barry. We're all here for you the way you're always here for us"

"But what if I can't beat him? What if I fail?' I hush him, placing my head on his chest and focusing on the sound of his beating heart.

"No matter what happens Barry, we'll handle it. Together…. But you're not doing anyone any good by pull all-nighters and passing out on your desk. C'mon I'm taking you home, doctor's orders" I say, pulling away and dragging him out by the hand.

…..

"You know I don't think I've ever actually taken you out on a proper date" he says later that day as we sit on the couch watching tv.

I think for a second before shrugging and smiling at him "well that came out of nowhere"

"No, I'm serious, every just moved so quickly and you couldn't really do much the last few months but I've never taken you on a real date" he says, frowning as if this is something that is actually bothering him.

I sit up, propping myself up on his lap "Barry, I consider every day that we're together to be like a date. I don't need flowers and late nights at the movies to be with you"

"I know that you don't but I want to anyway, I want to spoil you Cait. I want to show everyone that you're mine"

"I'm guessing that that means you won't want to stay inside on this 'date'. Just please no ice-skating rinks or clowns, they freak me out" I confess, ignoring the snort that he makes at that comment.

"Deal, I'll pick you up tomorrow at 7" he says, getting off the couch to make a call.

"Pick me up?! You do realise we basically live together!" I shout after him.

…

I fix one final pin in my hair as I prepare for our date (think of the way she had her hair in 3x05). I have a simple dark blue dress on with a sweetheart neckline and straps over my shoulder. It ends just on my knees and I'm wearing simple black flats, along with my leg brace and some smoky eye makeup along with a slightly dark shade of red lipstick.

He smiles when I walk outside, a bouquet of red roses in his hands "You look amazing, these are for you"

I take the flowers, smelling their sweet scent for a second before quickly going to put them in a vase "You didn't need to buy me flowers Bar"

"Yeah well, you deserve them. C'mon, I have a surprise for you" he says, taking my hand. He drives through the city, to the surprise location of our date. We end up parked just outside the city, I can see an empty field when we get out and give Barry a confused look.

"Bar? What are we doing here?"

He just smiles and goes to the back of his car, pulling out a wicker basket and a blanket "We're going to have a picnic" he says, holding the basket with one hand and taking mine with the other, leading me into the field.

"Okay? But why in the middle of nowhere?" He lays out the blanket, placing the basket on top and gestures for me to sit down with him "You'll see in a minute" he answers, pulling me down next to him.

We look at the sky for a few minutes before the first shooting star lights up the sky, I gasp, never having seen this before and watch as a few more pass by.

"You can't see them properly from the city, too much interference from all the lights and pollution" Barry says as we watch the night sky.

"It's amazing" I say, relaxing next to him. It's not long before I hear Barry's stomach grumble and I fell mine gurgle in response.

He smiles pulling over the basket "I got it covered" he says as he opens the basket, I can help but laugh when he pulls out the familiar brown paper bag from 'Belly Burger' "I know how much you love them" he puts the bag down and hands me my food with a smile.

"I do love them, I think I love you more though" I say giving him a gentle kiss before tucking into my dinner. He packs strawberries for dessert and we have lots of fun feeding each other before we start to head back. I slowly drift off to sleep as we head back into the city, leaning my head against the window.

I barely feel myself being lifted out of the car, the familiar scent of the person I had been sleeping next to for the last couple of months waking me slightly as I swayed in his arms. Instead of leaping out like I usually would, I snuggled closer, wrapping my arms around his neck as he brought us into our apartment.

"Barry?"

"Yeah?"

"Best date ever"


	16. In sickness and in health

Frostbite

Chapter 16

…

Today had not been a good day.

I woke up feeling terrible, my head throbbed, my throat ached and my body ached all over. Rather than tell Barry and have him fuss over me I ignored it, taking a few painkillers at breakfast. By lunchtime my headache was back and in full force, a steady throb starting from my temples and working through my skull.

Then Iris had come to get Wally for lunch and we'd ended up getting into a full-blown argument, turning my headache from a 7 to about a 9. I couldn't stop thinking about what she had said as I rubbed my temples, the words echoing through my mind.

" _Sooner or later Caitlin, you're going to slip up and hurt someone. And not even Barry will be able to help you"_

I groaned, leaning my head on the table and briefly shutting my eyes for a minute. I can hear footsteps come over to my desk and peek my eyes open a little to see a concerned Barry crouching down.

"You okay?"

I manage a smile, wincing as I sit up "Yeah just have a massive headache"

"You think it's from your powers?" he asks, obviously worried.

I resist the urge to shake my head "I haven't used them in a while, maybe I'm just coming down with something"

"Still, I want Harry to check you out. Make sure everything's okay"

I groan but let him drag me off to find Wells, he frowns when we enter "What's going on?"

"Caitlin's sick, can you check her out, see if it's related to her powers?"

Wells nods before leading me over to the bed, he takes some blood before checking me over "Your temperature is quite low" he says as he pulls out a thermometer.

"So, it's her powers then?" Barry questioned

"Not necessarily, Caitlin's body is changing all the time which means she could react differently to getting sick. Getting colder instead of developing a fever" he presses around my throat and I wince when he touches an especially tender part.

He frowns again, grabbing a flashlight "Say ahh" he says, shining the torch down my throat for a few seconds "I think you have might have the flu, any body aches? Sore throat?" I nod and he sighs "I'm going to run some tests on your blood just to make sure but I'm pretty sure you're just reacting differently to having a virus. Take some flu medicine and go and get some rest"

"I'll make sure she does. Thanks Harry" Barry says as he pulls me out of the lab. I notice as we leave that Cisco doesn't make eye contact but don't pay much attention to it, he's probably just busy.

When we get home, he orders me to go change into some pyjamas while he looks for the flu medicine. I'm lying in bed, starting to doze off when he comes in, medicine in one hand and soup in the other.

"Thank-you Bar" I say as I sit up my bed as take the medicine he gives me. I take small sips of soup as we sit in bed, talking.

"Are we going to talk about what happened today?" He asks as I eat.

I sigh, setting the bowl on the bedside table "There's nothing to talk about Barry, she just said what everyone's been thinking"

"You know that's not true Caitlin, talk to me. One of the benefits of having a boyfriend is that you can talk to them when something's bothering you"

"That doesn't sound like much fun for the boyfriend"

"It's not about fun, it's about being there for one another. Let me be there for you" he says, grasping my hand.

I hesitate, my brain is telling me to pull away, to protect him but I can't deny the look on his face "I'm scared… I'm scared that I'm going to lose control and hurt someone. I don't want to end up like Killer Frost"

"That's not going to happen" he argues but I shake my head

"You can't promise me that, you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, or next week"

"True, but I know you. You're strong, the strongest person that I know. And despite everything that has gone wrong in your life you still try to believe in the good, I believe in you Cait. You're… we're not going to let this beat us okay?"

"I need you to promise me something" I say, preparing myself for what I was about to ask of him.

"Anything"

"If I start to slip, if it's obvious that I've lost control. I need you to stop her, even if it means that I die. Promise me that you'll stop her"

He pulls away, shaking his head "No"

"Please Barry" I beg, my eyes filling with tears "I couldn't bear it if I hurt someone, if I hurt you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Please, please just promise me this"

"No. Cait I'm not promising you that, I won't"

"Barry I-"

"No, okay? You're not going to lose control Cait, after everything that's happened I'm not going to lose you because of some stupid powers. I won't" he gently grabs my face, caressing my cheek with his thumb "I love you Caitlin"

Our lips meet for a brief kiss before I pull away, remembering that I'm sick and probably contagious. He frowns when I do, a puzzled look on his face "What's wrong?"

"I'm sick Barry, I don't want to get you ill too" I say, moving slightly further away on the bed

He scoffs, moving back over with a bemused look on his face "Cait I have super healing, I haven't gotten sick in years. Right now, I just want to kiss my girlfriend"

I give in, allowing a few more small pecks before a yawn escapes my mouth. He tucks me into bed, pressing a kiss to my forehead before whispering goodnight. I drift off soon after.

…

Two days later Barry wakes up with a pounding headache and a cough. I give him a sympathetic smile as I go off to get the flu medicine.

…


	17. Take my hand

Frostbite

Chapter 17

(I don't own the Flash)

….

Everyone on the team knew of Wally's relationship with Jesse Wells, she'd gone back to her own world to help defend it with her father and while Wally missed her terribly he turned his focus to his new powers and learning to control them.

So, when she jumped back into their world, breathless and terrified and informed them of her father's hostage situation in Gorilla city they all unanimously agreed to help her. Caitlin had grown rather fond of Jesse, who was the only one who knew about her powers in the early months and spoken out when Caitlin was losing control.

So, she, Barry and Cisco all ventured to Gorilla city to rescue Earth two Harrison Wells. And subsequently ended up getting captured and thrown into cells that somehow dampened Barry's powers, leaving him unable to phase. Unable to escape and an attack planned on their earth Barry had come up with a plan on how to get them out of there. One of them had to 'die'. Or rather pretend to die to fool their captors.

Caitlin had refused at first, terrified she could take it too far and actually kill Barry. He'd threaded his hands through the bars, grasping hers as he talked to her.

"Cait, it's going to be okay. I'm going to be fine alright? You're the strongest person I know, you can do this"

She took a deep breath before nodding, taking off the necklace Cisco had made her to supress her powers and focused, taking Barry by the arm gently as she felt her powers beginning to surface.

The warm, tingling feeling from before was back as Barry's life-force seeped into her own, warming her up inside. It would be so easy to give in, to just let go and stop fighting but she fought, focusing on Barry until she knew she had to stop and released him. He fell to the floor, blue and still and she had to look away, trying to keep the images out of her head.

The plan worked, he was soon tossed out of his cell, giving him a chance to escape. But he still didn't wake. Every minute that passed while he was unconscious felt like a day in Caitlin's head, agony wreaking havoc on her mind. What if she had drained too much? What if she killed him?

She couldn't supress the massive sigh of relief that escaped her when he started to move again, breaking out of his frozen state. He manages a smile when she asks if she 'froze him too much' and shakes his head, stating that he's fine.

They manage to escape, taking Earth 2 Harrison back to his thrilled daughter and then proceeded to de-suit and get ready to go home. Caitlin reached over for her bag, accidently brushing Cisco with her arm as she did. He immediately flinched, pulling himself away. He didn't meet the confused look in her eyes and instead fled, shouting out a quick goodbye.

Caitlin stood there, confused by Cisco's sudden change in behaviour, she knew he wasn't scared of her, he'd told he so many times since finding out about her powers so what had changed? She was determined to find out tomorrow.

…..

She didn't tell Barry, not wanting him to go and confront Cisco like she knew he would. Instead she waited until she had a moment alone with Cisco and walked up to his desk.

"Okay, what's going on?" She asks, standing in front of him as he looked up, his eyes immediately moving elsewhere when he realised it was her standing in front of him.

"W-What? What do you mean?" He mutters, going back to his work

"You know what I mean Cisco, you're avoiding me, not looking me in the eye. You flinched yesterday when I got too close. What's going on?" She asks

"Caitlin, I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't been avoiding you" he says

"Francisco Ramon! Don't lie to me! Is it because you walked in on Barry and I a few weeks ago? Because we apologised for that and it's not going to happen again" she snapped, determined to get to the bottom of this.

He sighs, giving up on his work "It's not because of that"

"Then what?"

"Caitlin, can you please just drop it?" he shouted, getting up from his work desk

"No, I can't. Because one of my best friends is avoiding me and won't tell me why. Just tell me what I did!" she yelled in frustration

"It's not something you did! It's something you're going to do" he finally blurts out

She's silent for a few seconds, trying to understand what he means before speaking again "What do you mean I'm going to do? Cisco?"

"I…I had a vibe, of you…. You were fighting Barry and... and you were Killer Frost" he confesses, finally meeting her eyes, pity and fear clear in his.

The sound of her heart pounding rapidly roars through her ears, blocking out all other sound. Her palms are sweaty, her breathing becoming erratic as she feels panic and terror overtaking her. She rushes from the room, not knowing where's she's going until she reaches the roof. The cold wind whips at her face as she steps outside.

Tears rapidly pour down her cheeks as she starts to hyperventilate, this couldn't be happening. She was gaining more control every day, she was always wearing her inhibitor necklace or cuffs. This wasn't supposed to be happening. But it was, and at some point in the future she was going to hurt Barry, maybe even kill him. She couldn't let that happen, not when there was a way to stop that from happening.

She couldn't run, she reasoned as she stepped up on the ledge. If she ran, he'd come after her and convince her to come back. This was the only way, the only way to protect everybody.

She heard the shift in the wind behind her, heard the sound of Barry flashing behind her "Caitlin! What are you doing? Get down, please baby"

"Please Barry, I have to do this" she spoke, her voice eerily calm.

"No, no you don't. Just look at me Cait, talk to me" he begged, not getting too close for fear of startling her.

She refused to turn and meet his eyes, she knew that if she did she wouldn't be strong enough to do this and she had to be strong enough, she had to protect Barry.

"It was all for nothing, all those sessions. All that time spent trying to control these powers and it didn't even make a difference in the end! I'm still going to turn into a monster!" she yelled out "It's all just so pointless!"

"Cait" Barry says, taking another step closer "Please"

"But if I do this, If I jump I can stop all of this. I can protect you from me, it'll be worth it if it means you're all safe" she says, staring down at the ground below.

"Please Caitlin, we can fix this. We can take some time off, go away for a bit. Please just get down" he begs

"Don't you understand? It doesn't matter what I do, or what I choose, I'm the problem. I can't fix this Barry, nobody can. I can't hurt you Barry, I couldn't live with myself"

"And you think I could keep on living if you died? I'd probably just go straight after you. I love you Caitlin, please just look at me"

Trembling, she slowly turned so her back was to the edge and she was facing him, she could see that he was terrified, tears threatening to fall from his wide eyes. He reaches a hand out to her, silently begging her to take it.

"Cait, we've made it through so much already, we've come too far for it to end like this now. I love you, I promise you we are going to fix this, just please. Take my hand"

She stares up at him for a minute, her lip trembling slightly before she hesitantly places a shaking hand in his. The second her feels her palm he pulls off the ledge and into his arms, holding her closely, hoping that the feeling of her, safe in his arms will calm his speeding heart. She cries into him, mumbling apologies as they hear Cisco and Wells entering the roof.

…

Later, when she's got her cuffs back on and is sleeping in the med bay Barry sits by her, watching as her body rises up and down with each breath. He'd come so close to losing her today, if Cisco had found him five minutes later...he didn't even want to think about what could have happened.

"How's she doing?" he heard Cisco say as he came up from behind.

"Uh, she's out like a light… She was pretty exhausted" Barry says, tearing his eyes away from her to turn and face Cisco "Thank you, for coming to find me"

"Are you kidding? If I hadn't of said anything… none of this would've happened" Cisco sighs, crossing his arms

"This isn't your fault Cisco… if anyone's to blame it's me. I created flashpoint, the only reason she has these powers is because of me"

"She doesn't blame you Barry"

"Well she should! She almost committed sui- she almost killed herself today because of these powers. When I saw her on that ledge my heart stopped, she was so close… I almost lost her" he sighs, rubbing his face.

"You're not going to lose her Barry, we sure as hell wouldn't let that happen. We'll figure this out" Cisco says, clapping him on shoulder.

Barry looked back to Caitlin's sleeping form, he could only pray that Cisco was right.


	18. Gold and stone

Frostbite

Chapter 18

(I don't own the flash)

 _Sorry for the long delay, I've had some health problems recently._

… _.._

In the weeks that followed Caitlin's almost suicide attempt she shut herself off from everyone, choosing to hide away in the lab, running test after test on herself, hoping to find something, anything to slow her powers down. Barry stayed with her, even if she wouldn't talk to him, going over strategies with Harry while Cisco tried to upgrade his power nullifying technology.

He heard Caitlin swear loudly from the med bay, followed by the sound of something crashing onto the floor. Within a second he was there, thinking she might have collapsed. A piece of equipment was on the floor in pieces, Caitlin pressing her hands against her face in frustration. He cleaned the mess up in a few seconds before checking on Caitlin.

"Cait? You alright?"

"These stupid tests aren't doing anything" she snapped, slamming her hands down on her desk. He goes over, only placing his hand on her shoulder for a second before she flinches away, as if he's burned her.

He's hurt, obviously but he pushes it down, she need him strong right now. Slowly he approaches her again "Don't push me away Cait, I want to help"

"I can't do this right now Barry, I need to concentrate" she says dismissively, turning back to her work, an array of papers thrown out across the table.

"We're all working non-stop to find something Caitlin, you don't have to do this, I don't think I've seen you sleep in days" he said, concerned that in her determination to fix things she was putting her health at stake.

"That's because I haven't, I can't sleep, I don't have time to waste" she says as she files through the papers, bringing one up to her eyes.

"Would you stop pushing me away! I'm trying to help!" he yells, weeks of pent up frustration finally being let out.

"Then leave me alone! If you really want to help me then just leave me _alone_!" she shouts back, gesturing towards the door

He scoffs, shaking his head "You know what? Fine. I'm going home for the day" he says, storming out of the lab.

She watches as he leaves, repressing a groan when he's out of her sight and banging her head lightly against the table.

…

She stays in the medical bay for the rest of the day, her surly mood souring the air around her. Wally and Harry kept clear of her, Cisco being the only one brave enough to enter. It was obvious to her that Barry had called him, Cisco kept trying to get her to eat, suggesting she took a nap. If anything, that only fuelled her bad mood.

He was back again, this time with a muffin, offering it to her until her glare made him pull it back. He sat opposite to her, picking at the muffin now.

"You keep pushing him away and one day he won't come back" he says, turning his chair towards her.

She clenches her jaw, "Maybe that's for the best" she says through grinded teeth

"Are you kidding?" He shouts, "You really want that? After everything that's happened, everything the two of you have been through, you just want to give it all up?"

"Leave it Cisco, this is none of your business" she snaps, glaring at him

"It is when my best friend is being an idiot" he replies "He _loves_ you Caitlin, he's been here day and night trying to find something to help _you._ "

"Which is why I'm doing this" she says, reaching behind her to pull out a piece of paper, handing it to Cisco "They're my latest test results...it's getting worse"

He read the test results, looking back up at her with sadness and pity in his eyes "Caitlin… We'll find something"

She shakes her head "You don't know that, even Barry can't save me from this… I'm doing this to protect him Cisco, I can't hurt him"

"But you are, maybe not physically but emotionally you are. He thinks you blame him" Cisco confesses

"Of course I don't!"

"Well then tell him, just talk to him Caitlin, please" he pleads

She nods, getting up from her desk properly for the first time all day "I'm gonna go home… thank you Cisco"

He nods, watching as she grabs her bag and leaves the lab. He sighs, sitting back in the chair "I should have been a marriage counsellor"

…

It's quiet when she enters their apartment, she expected Barry to be on the couch, playing video games or half-heartedly watching something on the television. But the couch is empty, the TV screen blank.

"Barry?" she calls out, hoping to hear his voice shout back or see his head pop out of a doorway. But nothing happens.

She goes to their bedroom first, her soft footfalls echoing throughout the house. He's sitting on the bed, head in his hands. She sits down next to him, listening as his breathing becomes heavier. Carefully, she wraps her arms around his torso, pressing her face against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry" she whispers, pressing a kiss to his shoulder

He shakes in her arms, obviously crying. A few tears of her own leak from her eyes, she presses her face against him harder, waiting until she knows he's calmed to pull his hands away from his face, her own replacing them.

"It's not your fault" she says, kissing each of his wet cheeks

"You didn't have these powers before" he states, guilt twisting his insides

"You couldn't have known Barry. I don't blame you… I love you" she says, meeting his eyes

He frowns "Then why?"

Exhaling, she begins to explain "I'm scared"

"Scared of what?"

She pulls away, scoffing "What do you mean, of what? I'm scared to move, I-I'm scared to _breathe,_ I'm scared to touch you! Cisco saw me fighting you Barry, not him, not Wally, _you._ The person that I care about most in this world. I don't want to lose you but I can't risk hurting you, I won't"

"Hey, hey" he's the one comforting her now, holding her shoulders "It's not going to happen okay, I won't lose you either. I don't care if we have to go all the way to Antarctica to fix this, I'll go"

"Barry-"

"No, I mean it Caitlin. You are the love of my life, I don't want anyone else, I will _never_ want anyone else. Ice powers or not, you're stuck with me til the end because I'm not going to leave you. That's just never going to happen. So you're just going to have to- "

She cuts him off with a searing kiss, her hands gripping his face and pulling him tightly to her. He quickly forgets what he was going to say, hands grabbing her sides and pulling her onto his lap. His tongue slips into her mouth as her hands move from his face, pulling at his shirt, a few buttons tearing off as she pulled it open.

He groans into her mouth when her cold hands run over his chest, making their way down to the belt looped through his jeans. His own hands reach to the hem of her dress, pulling it up and over her head and leaving her almost fully exposed to him. He pulls away from her, his lips now going to the skin of her throat, biting and sucking gently on her pulse point.

She felt like her skin was on fire, the feeling of his hands and lips on her skin too much and not enough all at the same time. Her eyes slid shut just as he undid the clasp of her bra, pulling it away from her and smothering her chest with kisses, eliciting a half gasp, half moan from her.

He drank the sight of her in, all pale skin and flushed cheeks, it still amazed him that he was the one that got to see her like this. And after the last few weeks they'd had he was going to cherish this, make it last. Breathless he kissed his way down her chest and over her stomach, covering every inch of her with his lips before he reached the waistband of her underwear.

He took his time, hooking his fingers under each side and slowly sliding them down, pressing a kiss to the inside of each knee as he did. When he looked back up her eyes were open, wide and darkened with love and want. He smiled, slowly making his way back up her body until he reached his destination.

He took his time teasing her, first with his fingers and then with his mouth, curling and sucking and circling just the right spot until her back arched off the bed, her fingers clenching the sheets as colours exploded in front of her eyes and she cried out his name.

He gave her time to recover before she tugged him up to her lips, no matter how many times they did this she never seemed to be able to get close enough to him. Reaching in between them she quickly undid his bed and jeans, pushing them down his hips before raking her nails up his back while he kicked them off. The boxers came off soon after, leaving no barrier between them.

Threading his fingers through hers he placed them at either side of her head and captured her lips as his body filled hers. Caitlin went still for a second, her moan swallowed by his kiss. He slowly began to move, setting a slow but steady pace. His mouth went to her shoulder as Caitlin's hips met his thrust for thrust, her moans and whimpers become more and more breathless as time passed.

He let go of her hands, grabbing her thighs and pulling them around his waist, the new angle allowing him to go deeper and causing Caitlin to cry out louder, her hands going to grip his shoulders.

Without warning Barry sat up, Caitlin still joined with him in his lap and captured her mouth, thrusting up hard. Their breathing became more erratic, his thrusts becoming lest controlled and more frantic as she arched her back, his mouth instantly planting onto her neck. He could tell she was close and moved faster, angling deeper until he heard her cry out his name for the second time tonight, muffled into his shoulder as she bit down, triggering his own release, groaning her name.

He planted breathless kisses along her collarbone before falling down on the bed, pulling her down with him, a pile of sweaty, satisfied limbs. She laid her head on him, tracing circles on his chest until her breathing evened out and she could feel his pulse go back to normal. She fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating through her ears.

/

He woke up before her, a rare feat. The first rays of sunlight are shining through the blinds, making the room almost glow. Or maybe it was the woman in bed with him. Looking down at Caitlin, who was sprawled across his chest, he smiled.

Definitely her.

He waited for her to wake, rubbing her back gently until her brown eyes peeked open at him.

"You're staring" she mumbled, yawning against him.

"I'm just looking at the woman I love" he replied

"Something's going on in that mind of yours, you have that look on your face" she said as she propped her head up on his chest.

"I'm just thinking about how good it is waking up next to you every morning" he confesses, sending her into a deep blush "And how I want to wake up like this every day for the rest of my life"

She tenses up, her head snapping up at him and looking at him with wide eyes "w-what?"

Gently moving her off his chest he leans over to his desk and pulls open a drawer, pulling something out. She sits up, wrapping the sheet around her torso as he opens his palm to her. A glittering ring lays in the middle of his palm, the tiny rays of light coming in through the blinds reflecting off the single round stone in the middle of the gold band.

"Barry… w-what are you doing?" she stammers, her heart suddenly racing in her chest like a race horse ploughing down the tracks.

He chuckles, sitting up so he can cup her face with one hand "Well I thought it was obvious…Cait, I love you, you're it for me. You're my home, my anchor in this crazy world. And I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you've made me"

"You already do" she cries, tears filling her eyes as a smile breaks across her face

"Marry me, make me the happiest person on this earth, marry me Cait" he says, brushing her cheek with his thumb softly.

She sobs, tearfully nodding and smiling "Yes! Yes of course!"

A radiant smile breaks across Barry's face, with a watery laugh he slides the ring onto her left hand before bringing her in for a swift kiss. They fall back onto the bed, celebrating their engagement as the light of new day fills the room.


	19. Make a Plan

Frostbite

Chapter 19

…..

The glint of her engagement ring caught Caitlin's eye again as she tapped at the keyboard in front of her computer at the lab. It had been a couple of weeks since they had gotten engaged and they were busy planning a wedding while working on how to control her powers. Her left hand touched her snowflake locket absentmindedly, twirling the charm with her fingers. She wondered if she would have to wear it on her wedding day. Even with everything good that's happened, she still couldn't help but worry about the future.

' _With all the threats we face, we're probably better off just eloping'_ She thinks to herself.

"What are you thinking about" Barry's voice spoke from behind her, his hands caressing her shoulders.

"Just wedding stuff" she says, tilting her head upwards so she could greet him with a kiss, she didn't want to worry him with her thoughts

"Anything I can help with?" he asks as he leans over her shoulder

"Well… if you could tell all the supervillains to just not attack the city for a day we might be able to choose a date" she says with a coy smile

"Somehow, I don't think that's possible" he says

"Well then, there's always the flowers, or the cake or the location or the guest list or the invitations or-"

"Oh god we should just elope" he groans, flopping down on the chair next to her.

"Funny, that's what I was just thinking" she says with a grin "At least you have your best man sorted out. I may have to drag Felicity in just so I can have one bridesmaid"

"Iris" Barry blurts out, earning him a weird look from her.

"Iris? I doubt she'd even want to come to the wedding, much less be a bridesmaid"

"No. Iris, is here" he says, pointing to the door. Sure enough, Iris is standing outside the lab entrance.

"what do you think she wants?" Caitlin asks, nervously glancing at Barry.

"I don't know, but I have a feeling we're about to find out" he says as Iris approaches where they're sitting.

"Hi" she says, standing in front of them awkwardly

"Hey"

"Wally's training if you're looking for him" Caitlin says, offering a small smile.

"I'm not here for Wally… I actually came to talk to you" she says, looking towards Caitlin "Can we have a minute?"

Barry seems hesitant to leave until Caitlin nods at him, letting him know it's okay. When he's gone, Iris takes his place on the seat beside her.

"Iris… I'm sorry" Caitlin begins to apologise

"Don't" Iris stops her from continuing "I know you're sorry. That's not what I came here for"

"Then why did you come?" Caitlin asks, confused as to why she would even be sitting here.

"Wally told me… about what you tried to do a few weeks ago"

Caitlin looks down, shame flooding her and turning her pale "Oh"

"You were going to sacrifice your life… to keep his safe" Iris states, "I can't imagine how terrified and alone you must have felt…Caitlin, I never meant what I said… I was hurt, angry"

"You had every right to be" Caitlin interjects

"Still, I called you a monster. I knew how scared you were of becoming one and I used that fear to hurt you. I- I can't help but think that that may have put you on that roof" Iris confesses

"No, there's nothing that could have changed that day" Caitlin says, "I was tired, and scared that I was going to hurt the person that I loved the most in this world… truth be told, a part of me just wanted it to stop"

"But you don't feel like that, now right?"

Caitlin doesn't respond, choosing to stare down at her hands.

"Oh, Caitlin" Iris sighs

"I want to be happy, Barry, he makes me happy. And the last few weeks have been amazing but… I'm scared, all the time. I feel like at any moment, icicles are going to start shooting out of my hands" Caitlin admits, twisting the engagement ring around her finger "I mean is this what my life is going to be like from now on? Always being terrified of hurting someone, constantly having to run tests? And if so, how can I ask Barry to commit to a life like that?"

"He already has, he wouldn't have given you that if he didn't mean it" Iris says, nodding towards the glittering ring "At first… when I found out, I thought you were just a fling, nothing more… I was wrong, he's different around you. He looks at you as if you're the only thing on this earth, like he's ready to jump in front of a bullet to save you or something. He never looked at me that way"

"He loved you" Caitlin says and Iris nods.

"And I loved him, but not in the way he loves you or the way I loved Eddie. We weren't meant for each other" Iris says, offering a small smile

"Iris, I know you said you didn't come for this but, I'm so sorry for what happened. No matter what problems the two of you were having, I never should have gotten involved with him when the two of you were still together" Caitlin says, guilt churning around in her stomach.

"I can't say that I'm completely past what you two did or forgive you just yet" Iris admits "But… maybe I can start hanging out here more often? I miss you guys, I want my friends back. You guys used to be like my second family here"

"I'd like that very much" Caitlin says, a little of the weight taken off her shoulders "I know Barry misses you as well"

"I'll talk to him on my way out" Iris says, grabbing her bag from the floor "I should probably get going anyway"

"Well, I hope to see you again soon" Caitlin says, smiling warmly

Iris nods, pausing just before she reaches the door "Caitlin?"

"Hmm?"

"Just, promise me you won't shut him out… I can see that he's worried about you"

Caitlin bites her lip, nodding "I'll try, thanks Iris"

Iris smiles and waves before exiting the room. Feeling a little more emotionally drained than usual, Caitlin sits down at her desk with a sigh, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes for a few minutes.

Barry's soft footsteps interrupt her, when she reopens her eyes he's standing beside her, that constant look of worry etched again on his face.

"You alright? Iris said you guys talked about everything" he asks, sitting beside her

"We did, she heard about… what happened on the roof" Caitlin says hesitantly "She felt guilty for what she said before it happened… We both apologised and talked about things, you"

"Well that's good, right?"

"She told me not to shut you out, said she could see that you're worried about me" Caitlin admits, biting into her lip again.

"I almost lost you, of course I'm worried. And shut me out from what?" Barry asks, placing a hand on her forearm.

"How I'm feeling" Caitlin mutters "I just… I don't want you to think that I'm not grateful or happy with you because you're pretty much the reason I'm still here but.."

"But?"

"I'm scared" she whispers "I'm so scared Barry. I don't want to become killer frost, I don't want to hurt you. I want to marry you and have a family with you, grow old with you. I feel like I'm drowning and I'm dragging you down with me"

"Cait, no" Barry shakes his head, leaning forward in his chair so he could lean into her "we're going to get to do all that, hell I'd marry you now if we could find a minister. And bring me down? Babe, you're the thing that brightens my world every day, I'm a better person just by being near you"

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to be here, I don't want you to have any regrets" She admits

"Never" he states, cupping her face with his hands, his thumb brushing across her jaw "No matter what happens, I could never regret being with you Caitlin. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You are going to beat this"

She smiles slightly, raising her hand to touch his "You have so much faith in me, too much I think"

"That's because you don't see how strong you are" he says, stroking some hair back with one hand "You're the strongest person I know, so much has happened and you still worry about everybody else"

"I worry the most about you"

"You won't hurt me Caitlin" he says, intertwining one hand with hers and moving it down to his chest, right over the place where his heart beat "I trust you"

She looks to where their hands are placed, feeling the _thump, thump_ underneath her palm, she looks back up to him, meeting his eyes "You know we might not be able to get married for a while? Not with everything going on, there's barely anytime to plan anything"

"Then we'll wait" he says "We've got plenty of time Cait"

She smiles, moving forward to wrap her arms across his shoulders, pressing her face against his neck "I'm sorry I've been shutting you out" she mumbles, lightly pressing a kiss to his neck.

He inhales deeply, moving his arms to encircle around her waist "You're scared, I get that… Just promise me you'll talk to me from now on about it"

She nods against him, choosing to stay wrapped around him for a little bit longer. Barry on the other hand, was busy coming up with a plan.


	20. Surprise Surprise

Frostbite

Chapter 20

(I don't own the flash)

….

Caitlin watched as Barry sat at his computer, the screen tilted just so she couldn't see what he was doing. The last couple of weeks he'd been acting strange, leaving room to take phone calls out of the blue, closing his computer down every time she got close. He seemed nervous, jumpy… almost as if he was hiding something. The thought alone made her stomach twist with anxiety.

She came around to wrap her arms around his shoulders, laying her chin on top of his head as he quickly shut off whatever he'd been looking at "What're you up to?"

"Ah, nothing. Just boring work stuff Joe has me looking at. Don't you have an appointment at the dress shop today?" he asked, attempting to draw her attention away

She sighed "Yes, I should probably go soon. I don't know why you want me to get the dress right now, with everything that's going on we'll be lucky to get married in the next year, I'll just need to get it altered again"

"I don't know, I like the idea of you having the dress already. Makes it feel more real, like there's less of a chance of you realising that you could do better and leaving" he admits, only half joking

She moves her head, quickly pressing her lips to his cheek "That's not going to happen Mr Allen, you're stuck with me, forever"

He turns his head to meet hers "I like the sound of that" he says, bringing his lips to hers, slowly getting more passionate until he pulls away "How much time do you have before your appointment?"

She laughs, lighting swatting his arm "Not enough time for _that_ "

"Not even a quickie?"

"Barry, I think you and I both know, there's no such thing as a 'quickie' with us. I'll see you later" she says, quickly kissing him again before leaving the apartment.

Barry waited until he was sure she was gone before he pulled out his phone, pulling up his messages he started to type

 _She's gone to her appointment, wanna come over now?_

….

Caitlin couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as she looked at the various white dresses on display at the bridal shop. With Ronnie, she had barely anytime to pick out a dress, she had pretty much grabbed the first dress she liked that fit her. This time around she had the time to pick out her dream dress but she was still alone.

She had called her mother to tell her she was engaged, even invited her to come dress shopping but she'd declined, saying she had much more important things to do at work. For a moment her mind flitted to Iris, before she shook that thought away. They may have agreed to start over their friendship but asking her to accompany her to go dress shopping for a wedding to her ex was a bit too much too soon.

Thankfully she'd never been a picky shopper and she'd found her dress pretty quickly. It was very different from her other dress, it was long, just reaching the floor and it had elbow length sleeves made of sheer material with lace and floral embellishments. The sheer material went over the top of the dress, extending onto the bodice and over the skirt.

Once she got her measurements done and paid for the dress she headed back home, ready to look over some wedding venues with Barry and maybe finish what they started earlier. She quietly made her way in, intending on surprising her fiancé when she heard voices from the lounge room.

"I can't believe you're doing this Barry" Iris, that was Iris's voice she heard

"I don't want to wait anymore, we've wasted so much time as it is" Barry's voice spoke next, effectively breaking her heart

"You have to promise you won't say anything Iris, not until everything's ready. She'll only freak out if you tell her"

Caitlin resisted the urge to drop to her knees and silently made her way back out of the apartment, forcing one leg to go in front of the other until she was out of the apartment building. She waited 20 mins before Iris made her way out and then headed upstairs.

Barry was on the couch when she made her way in, the TV on in the background "Hey, how the dress shopping go?"

"Uh… great, I found one so… I'm going to go take a shower" she says, beginning to make her way to their bedroom

"Is everything alright?" he asks, getting up and following her "You seem kinda off"

"I'm fine" she replies, almost a little too quickly "just all this wedding stuff, brings back memories. I think I just need some time alone"

He nods, pressing a quick kiss to the side of her heard "Whatever you need, and don't stress too much over this wedding stuff. I have a feeling things are going to work out just fine"

She offers up a half-hearted smile before retreating to the bathroom, turning on the water to hot and peeing off her clothes. She sits under the spray of the shower, the water feeling barely warm against her cold skin as she began to feel her powers grow out of control.

She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes, leaning her head against the cool tile as she let her anger and pain seep out in the form of sobs.

Eventually she ran out of tears and had to get out of the shower, ignoring Barry as she quickly made her way into their bedroom and laid down on her side of the bed, her back facing him for the first time since they started living together.

It took a while to get to sleep, her imagination running wild with images of what Iris and Barry could have possibly been doing this afternoon, eventually her eyes start to droop with exhaustion and she drifts off, the last thought running through her mind-

' _How can I watch him go back to Iris?'_

…

The next few days she spends at much time as she can at work, avoiding Barry at all costs. She doesn't talk to Cisco about what happened, when this all eventually comes out she doesn't want him to feel torn between his two friends. So, she focuses on her work and being the best doctor she could be.

Surprisingly, it's Wells who comes to her after five days of tense silences "You want to tell me what's going on Snow?"

She frowns a him when he sits down beside her "What's it to you?"

"Well I don't like it when my team aren't speaking to each other, makes my work day difficult. You going to tell me what's wrong?" he asks, looking at her as if daring her to say she was fine

"I-I caught Barry and Iris together a few days ago"

Wells looks at her like she's just sprouted a second head "And when you say you caught them 'together' you mean..."

"He's cheating on me!" she hisses, keeping her voice down in case someone was to walk in

"You saw them kissing?" he asks, surprised that Barry would do such a thing

"Well no…"

"You caught them in bed?"

"No!... I didn't actually see them, but they were in our apartment, whispering about something"

"And that equals cheating because…"

"Because she's Iris West!" Caitlin shouts, practically shooting off her chair "She's the love of his life! Or didn't you see the byline?"

Wells gets up, gently grabbing Caitlin's shoulder "Caitlin calm down, you're not wearing your necklace at the moment and we can't risk your other side coming out to play at the moment"

Caitlin glares at him, feeling the first sparks of ice in her palms "Maybe she should, I mean, it can't be any worse than living like this can it?"

"Caitlin that's not you, that the anger talking. You're stronger than this, you've fought everything else so far, don't give up now"

Caitlin stares at him for a moment, the anger slowly dissolving into sadness "He…he said he wasted so much time" she whispers, falling back against her chair "Is that all I am to him? A waste of time? A pitstop on his way to true love?

Wells watches as she starts to crumple into tears, he'd promised Barry he wouldn't tell Caitlin what he was planning but he couldn't stand watching her cry "Caitlin, stop…. Look I promised Barry I wouldn't say anything but I don't want you doing something stupid like leaving a note and running off so I'm going to slightly break that promise. I can't tell you exactly what's going on, but I can tell you it's not what you think. Just promise me you'll wait, it'll be worth it"

She sniffs, her forehead crinkling as she frowned "What will be worth it? I don't understand, why can't you just tell me?"

"And piss off a metahuman I can never outrun? I'm not stupid enough to risk that. Just, promise me you'll wait"

She's still confused but nods anyway. He smiles, before leaving her alone at her desk, more frazzled than before.

….

True to her word, she waits, ignoring the voice in her head that's screaming for her to run. A week passed by slowly, she barely sees Barry as he's always out doing 'research' for a new project he says. She remains distant, falling asleep with her back to him and waking up earlier than him so she could rush off to work before he could try and ask what was wrong.

It all comes to a head one Saturday afternoon when Caitlin goes to answer her door and Iris is standing there, a large garment bag in her arms and a big smile on her face. She was dressed in a long purple dress, embellished in sequins and her hair was down, a purple flower tucked behind her ear.

"What are you doing here? She asks, a hint of bitterness in her voice

"Woah, someone woke up on the wrong side of bed. Is everything okay?" Iris asks as she makes her way inside, placing the bag and the makeup bag that was hung over her shoulder on the couch.

"Well let's see, my fiancé is leaving me for his ex-girlfriend and she just walked into my apartment. Yeah, everything's swell" Caitlin snaps

Iris stares at her for a minute before bursting into laughter "What? What are you talking about Caitlin?"

"Oh, don't act dumb Iris it doesn't suit you, I heard you two last week, I know what's going on. I guess it's only fair, I took him from you and now you're taking him from me"

"Caitlin, I don't know what you think is going on, but it's definitely not that" Iris says, staring at her like she was insane.

"Well then what is going on?" she asks, exasperated "And why are so dressed up?"

"I can't tell you" she says, earning a groan from Caitlin "Look you're just going to have to trust me, I promise you, it will be worth it"

Caitlin looks to the bag on the couch "What's in the bag?"

"Again, I can't tell you. Please Caitlin, just trust me on this" Iris begs

Caitlin hesitates for a second before nodding, Iris claps her hand happily "Where's your bedroom, we don't have a lot of time"

Caitlin points in the direction of her room "A lot of time for what?"

Iris smiles, picking up her things from the couch "To get you ready, now c'mon. I need to get your makeup done"

She lets her lead them into her bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed "Wait, how are you going to get me ready if I'm not allowed to know what's going on?"

Iris smiles slyly, pulling out a blindfold from her bag "Just sit back and let me do my work Caitlin"

"Do I even want to know where you got that from?" Caitlin asks as Iris ties it firmly around her eyes

"Shhhh, I need to get started" Iris orders, rustling around in the makeup bag next to her.

….

A few hours later after her makeup has been finished and her hair braided into an up do, she hears the sound of a zipper being pulled down and then Iris is helping her into something. She feels as Iris buttons up the back of the dress she was now wearing and then silence.

"Okay, now shoes and then you're finished" Iris says, bending down and sliding some shoes on to her feet "Are you ready to take a look?"

"Dying to" Caitlin confesses, bracing herself as Iris unties the blindfold. When it falls from her face she eagerly takes a look in her mirror and is shocked into silence. Her hair is delicately braided into a bun, a delicate pin with silver flowers and gems on the side of her head. Her makeup isn't too heavy, her eyes framed nicely with eyeliner and mascara, soft browns brushed across her eyelids, her lips a few shades pinker than her natural colour.

She manages to regain her ability to speak once she looks down and notices what she's wearing "T-This is my wedding dress" she stammers

"C'mon, Barry will explain everything when we get there" Iris says, tugging her out of her room and apartment.

There's a rental car out the front, much to Caitlin's confusion, she had a perfectly fine car of her own. After Iris's insistence, they both get inside the car and head towards the new destination, staying silent on the trip over.

When they pull up in front of the park Caitlin turns to Iris "Okay, now I'm really confused, why are we here?"

Iris just smiles and hops out of the car, rushing over to the other side to open Caitlin's door and help her out, making sure her dress didn't get dirty. As they step away from the car, Caitlin notices a group of people crowded by one of the big willow trees.

Iris guides her in the direction of these people, watching as she began to take in her surroundings. The crowd breaks apart, revealing a long aisle of pink and white petals strewn onto the grass leading up to an archway, adorned in the same coloured roses.

"What?…What is all this?" Caitlin asks, recognising Cisco and Oliver as well as some of their friends in the crowd of people.

"It's our wedding" Barry's voice speaks from behind her.

She turns to face him, he's in a simple black suit, a white rose pinned to the lapel of his suit jacket and the biggest grin spread across his face.

"I-I don't… how did you… what?" she laughs nervously

He steps forward, holding her hands in his "I could see how stressed you were trying to find time to plan a wedding with everything going on, so I called Iris and we got everything organised. I just want to marry you Cait, I don't want to wait anymore. And I know this probably isn't your dream wedding but-"

She silences him by quickly pressing her lips to his, fighting back tears when she pulled away "It's better, it's perfect Barry"

"So that's a yes then?"

"Yes" she nods, wrapping her arms around him neck "of course I'll marry you"

When she pulls away she notices that everyone in the crowd nearby are friends of theirs, Felicity and Thea standing with Oliver, Gypsy holding onto Cisco's arm. Joe and Wally were standing at the front of the aisle, next to Dr Stein, all in suits. She catches Wells' eye from the crowds and nods, suddenly understanding why he was so adamant she stayed, she reminded herself to thank him later.

Barry goes to join them, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before going to take his place as Felicity comes up, two bouquets of pink and white roses in her hands. She hands the smaller one to Iris before passing the other to her "You look so gorgeous Caitlin"

She smiles, a blush rising to her cheeks "Were all of you in on this?"

Iris nods "He came up with the idea a few weeks ago, that's why we've been spending so much time together"

Caitlin suddenly feels awful "Oh god, you've been helping plan a surprise wedding and I screamed at you. I'm so sorry Iris"

Iris shakes it off, smiling at her "It's fine Caitlin, everyone's allowed a few freak-outs on their wedding day"

"Well technically I didn't know it was my wedding day so..."

Iris rolls her eyes "Will you please stop talking? The music is going to start playing soon and I don't want to miss my queue"

"Just… thank you, for everything" Caitlin says, nervously tucking back a stray stand of hair that had come loose. Iris huffs before coming over to fix her hair quickly

"Don't want you ruining my masterpiece" she mutters jokingly as she steps into place

The opening chords of _Can't Help Falling in Love_ start to play softly, Iris slowly making her way down the aisle as their friends turn to watch. Caitlin takes a deep breath to calm her nerves, before stepping out onto the petal covered aisle, her eyes instantly going to the groom on the end.

A brilliant smile breaks across her face as they lock eyes, her nerves melting away the closer she got. Once she was at the end of the aisle, she handed her flowers to Iris, before placing her hands in Barry's. Dr Stein begins the ceremony with a smile,

"We are gathered here today to witness one of life's greatest moments, the moment where two souls become one, joined in the unity of marriage. Love is friendship caught fire; it is quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicles of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough."

"Barry and Caitlin, today we stand here with you to watch as you commit your lives to each other. I understand you have your own vows?"

Caitlin freezes "Oh, uh… I didn't have anything prepared"

"Cait, it's fine, I'll go first" Barry says, squeezing her hands "Caitlin, you're the love of my life. You're my rock, my calm among the chaos. I take you to be my best-friend, my partner, my love. I promise to be true to you, to love you and support you, no matter what life throw at us. I promise to encourage to, to make you laugh to be there for you in good times and in bad. To cherish every second I spend with you because it will never be enough. Cait, I may not be able to fix all of your problems, but I promise, you'll never, ever have to face them alone again. With this ring, I give you my heart, my soul, my everything"

Tears well painfully in her eyes as Barry finishes saying his vows, she has to pull one hand away momentarily to wipe it away before it ruins her makeup, smiling tearfully at her soon to be husband.

"I, uh… I didn't know this was going to be happening so I'll do my best" she says with a laugh "Barry, from the moment we met, you've surprised me, distracted me, captivated me and challenged me like no one else has ever done before. Every day I fall in love with you all over again and I can't believe how lucky I am to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I promise to love and cherish you, to uplift and support you, to challenge and frustrate you and to share the beautiful moments with you. I promise not to shut you out, even when I'm scared, to fight by your side every day for the rest of my life. I can't promise to be the perfect wife or that I'll never disappoint you, but I can promise that I'll spend the rest of my life loving you the way you deserve to be loved. I am so terribly in love with you, and I always will be"

If it weren't for the fact that there were a dozen people watching them, Barry would've kissed her right then and there, her words touching him in a way he didn't know could. Instead he holds off, waiting for Dr Stein to ask for them to take their rings.

"Barry, do you take Caitlin to be your wife, to love, honour, protect and cherish her, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, in joy and in sorrow for as you both shall live?"

Barry smiles widely at her again, sliding the simple diamond studded band onto her ring finger where her engagement ring lay as he said "I do"

"Caitlin, do you take Barry to be your husband, to love, honour, protect and cherish him, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, in joy and in sorrow for as you both shall live?"

Caitlin nods, choking back a sob as she slid the gold band onto Barry's finger "I do"

"Well, then it gives me the greatest pleasure and honour to declare you two man and wife, you may kiss the bride!"

Barry didn't need to be told twice, pulling Caitlin into his arms and kissing her passionately, sweeping her off the ground after a moment. Loud cheers and applauds erupt from their friends as they watch their embrace, Cisco whistling enthusiastically.

Eventually he sets her back down, pulling away just enough to rest his forehead against hers "I love you"

"I love you too" she whispers back, leaning against him heavily for a moment before pulling away, linking her hand with his as their friends threw petals over their heads before joining them for hugs.

And of course, because no wedding can go off without a hitch, let alone one between two metahumans, that's the moment the screaming starts.


	21. Married Life

Frostbite

(I don't own the Flash)

Chapter 21

….

The sound of gunshots and explosions quickly grab the wedding party's attention. Barry grabs his new wife's hand.

"Get to the lab, you should all be safe in there" he says, before nodding at Oliver "any chance you brought some of your tech with you?"

Oliver nods, quickly running off in the other direction followed by his sister and Felicity. Caitlin shakes her head, looking at him as if he had said something ridiculous "No, No I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you!"

He presses a quick kiss to her lips, staring into her eyes when she pulls away "Cait, please. I need to know that you're safe. I'll be fine"

"You don't know that, I can help. Let me help" she argues with him but he just shakes his head

"It's too dangerous, I'm not risking losing you again. Please just go with Cisco, Iris and Joe, keep an eye on the city"

But she refuses "I'm not leaving you here"

He groans in frustration before picking her up and flashing her to the lab "I'm sorry, I love you" he says, putting her down before flashing off again. He comes back two more times, with Cisco, Wells, Iris and Joe before grabbing his suit and flashing away for the final time.

She wants to scream in frustration and crumple into tears but she's got a job to do, so she gathers the train of her wedding dress in one hand and quickly moves to the computer. Logging on the security cameras in the city, she quickly scans them to see what's going on.

The park that she just exchanged vows in in covered in black scorch marks, a man with a large gun walking through with a manic grin. She sees Barry and Oliver appear on the left side of the screen, obviously confronting him and has to hold in a shout when he aims the gun at them, a large blast barely missing them as the jump out of the way.

She watches them fight for a few minutes, biting on the end of her nails as Barry has a few close calls. That's when she notices it, the gun is charged by the metahuman's fire power. As long as he is able to use it, there's no telling what destruction he'll cause.

"You're not going to like this" she says, catching Cisco, Joe and Iris's attention "But I have an idea"

….

Barry dodged the blast from the meta's gun, just managing to get out of the way "We need to figure out a way to shut that gun down" he calls out to Oliver

"Well it's not like I have all of my stuff with me Barry" Oliver shouts from the other side of the park, now changed into his suit "My arrows don't seem to affect him at all"

"It seems to be powered from him, if we can find a way to stop his powers from working, we should be safe" Barry shouts as he dodges another blast

"Great, you don't happen to have any of your meta-inhibitor things with you by any chance?"

Barry's about to answer when a flash of white from behind the meta catches his attention, distracting him for just a moment. Unfortunately, that happens to be the same moment the meta locks his gun on him and he's hit with a powerful blast, sending him flying onto the ground as someone screams his name.

His head spins and he's pretty sure he's hallucinating, because there's no way Caitlin is standing behind the meta, still in her wedding dress and holding a massive gun. He groans, pulling himself up off the ground to flash his way over to her just as she releases a ray of ice into the back of the meta, effectively knocking him out.

She drops the gun to the ground with a thud as Barry flashes to her side, sweeping her up in his arms "What are you doing here? It's not safe! What if it didn't work Caitlin?" he says, quickly becoming upset.

"I wasn't going to just watch you guys get burnt alive! And I had backup!" she says, pointing to behind her where Iris and Joe were both armed with similar weapons.

He sighs, before letting himself smile at her "Thank you" he says before looking down at the unconscious meta on the ground "What do you think about getting this guy back to the lab and then we can go grab some food for our wedding reception?"

"Oh, thank god! I'm starving" she says with a laugh, pulling her new husband along by the hand.

….

She had to give Cisco and Iris credit, they really did a good job at pulling together an impromptu wedding reception. Barry had confessed that he'd originally booked a small hall, flowers and everything but in the aftermath of the attack, most things were closed and they were all exhausted by this point.

Still, she gasped when they re-entered the lab and found fairy lights strung up, flowers from the would-be reception on almost every surface. All their guests were there, virtually unscathed from the attack and Joe happily came in, bringing bags of various food with him.

"We can have a proper reception later on" Barry says from beside her, taking her silence as disappointment

"What? Oh, no, Barry this is… amazing. I mean, no it's not what I originally had in mind, but having all our friends and family here, in the place where we first met. It just seems right" she says, quickly reassuring him.

There's a glint of something in his eyes as he smiles, pulling her hand so he could lead them away and into the med bay, thankfully slipping out unnoticed. She's about to ask him what he's doing when he pushes her against the wall of the med bay, cutting off the yelp that escapes her mouth with his lips.

She smiles into the kiss, winding her arms around his neck as he pushes her further up the wall, one hand gripping her hip. He breaks the kiss after a few moments, pressing his lips to her jaw, her neck "Sorry" he mumbles against her skin "I've just wanted to do that all day"

She sighs happily against him, relaxing her arms against his shoulders "I don't mind" she says as she brings him forward for another kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth.

He groans against her, hands tightening against her waist so hard he'd probably leave marks tomorrow. One of her leg hitches around his hips, pulling him closer as the fabric of her wedding dress slides up, one of his hands slipping up to cup her bare thigh.

"We…we have people out there….waiting for us" he moans against her lips, hand continuing it's adventure up towards the one place where she really wanted it.

"Uh… any chance we can… _ohh_!... just go straight to the honeymoon?" she asks, hands already starting to undo the first few buttons of his shirt.

"I…I think our guests might have something to say about that"

"I don't care" she mutters, tugging him closer. He only starts to pull away once her hands reach for the zip on the front of his pants

"Cait, Cait wait" he mumbles, breathing heavily against her ear "This isn't how I want to do this"

"You're seriously going to stop _now_?" she huffs in frustration

"I know, I'm sorry" he says, pressing a kiss to her temple in apology "I just want our first time as a married couple to be special. You deserve more than a quickie against the lab wall. I want to be able to make love to my wife all night, and believe me, once we start we won't be stopping for a while"

She groans, letting her leg fall back to the ground and readjusting her dress "You're definitely going to like the surprise I have for you at home then"

He rebuttons his shirt, brushing some stray hair back from her face "Surprise?"

She gives him a sly grin "Just something I got a couple of weeks ago for our wedding night, lucky I like to get things organised early"

He winds his arms around her waist, gazing at her for a few moments "God, you're so beautiful"

She blushes, rubbing her face with her hand "Ugh, no I'm not, I'm a mess" And she was, bits of her braided bun were falling out, her dress stained with dirt and ash and her makeup was slightly smudged from sweat.

He takes her hand away, kissing the knuckles of it gently before pressing kiss to her jaw "You're gorgeous" he mutters, sending a shiver up her spine, the heat settling low in her belly flaring up again.

She's about to pull him in and start it all over again when there's a cough from the doorway "Ugh, _please_ tell me you guys didn't just consummate your marriage in our lab" Cisco groans, rubbing his eyes "Like, I'm happy for you two, but there are some things I just do _not_ need to see"

She blushes, hiding her face in Barry's face while he picks up the nearest book and throws it at him. He easily dodges it, a smirk on his face as he retreats "Just came to remind you that there's a reception going on next door, with tons of people who definitely don't want to hear you two going at it"

They laugh, Caitlin going a deeper shade of red as he takes her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers "Shall we Mrs Allen?"

"Lead the way, Mr Allen"

…..

In between all of the congratulations and hugs, Caitlin manages to pull Iris aside for a few seconds. The other woman's face is flushed from the champagne and dancing with Cisco, a pretty blush adorning her cheeks,

"I just wanted to thank you, again. This… all of this, it's perfect" Caitlin says quietly in the hall outside of where their friends and family were "I just… why did you do all of this for us? After everything that happened I thought you'd be the last person to organise our wedding"

"Caitlin" Iris sighs, a tired smile on her face "I've already told you before, I want to move past all of that. Life is too short, too uncontrollable to hold onto to grudges. And I'm happy, happier than I have been in a long time, I've actually started seeing someone recently"

"That's great!" Caitlin says enthusiastically "You deserve happiness Iris"

"And so do you, so stop beating yourself up" Iris says sternly "Look, Barry loves you, and when he asked for my help I'll admit I was apprehensive at first. But we've already hurt each other so much in the past, it was time to let go of all of that. And I wanted to make some kind of amends after what happened on that rooftop… I still feel kind of responsible for that"

Caitlin flinches at the mention of her almost suicide attempt "I've already told you, that wasn't your fault"

"I know, but I still felt like I helped put you up there" Iris admits "and the thought that you could have died before we could fix things made me feel sick to my stomach. If there was something I could do to ease the burden off your shoulders a little I wanted to do it… I forgive you Caitlin, we may not be best friends but we're almost sisters now, and I don't want to fight anymore""

She nods, sniffing as she struggled to keep the tears in her eyes from breaking and ruining her makeup "Hey, none of that" Iris chuckles "It's your wedding day, the only tears your supposed to be having are happy ones. Now come on, enough talk of the past. The future awaits"

Caitlin allows her to guide them back into the room, curling her hand around Barry's arm and leaning into his side "Everything okay?" he asks under his breath, catching them re-entering the room out of the corner of his eye

She smiles up at him, kissing his lightly on the jaw "Everything's perfect, just…looking forward to the future"

…

They have their first dance in the middle of the lab, _Summer Nights_ playing in the background. They finally manage to sneak away after cutting the cake, Barry wasting no time in flashing them back to their apartment. He fuses their lips together the second they're inside, hands tightly gripping her waist as he starts to guide her back to their bedroom, as he'd done so many times before.

She lightly pushes at his chest right before they get inside, breaking away from him "Remember that surprise I was talking about before?"

"I'm trying not to" he laughs, kissing along her jaw "it's taking all of my restraint not to just pull you to the floor and take you right now"

She groans, pushing him away again "trust me, it'll be worth it" she moves away from him, quickly entering their bedroom and grabbing the item she had been storing in the bottom shelf of her drawers for the last few weeks. She hides it behind her back, passing by Barry and heading to the bathroom, casting a sultry look over her shoulder "give me ten minutes, _husband_ "

She quickly unfolds the soft clothing in her hands, holding in out in front of her. The baby doll was a soft peach colour, delicate tulle ruffle details along the slight v neckline and the hem of the lingerie. A single tulle rosebud lay in the middle of the baby doll in the middle of the bust the bust.

She carefully takes off her wedding dress, hanging it up on the bathroom door to put away later. Stripping down to just her underwear, she slips into the baby-doll, tugging it so it fit just right, the material not even reaching halfway down her thighs. She quickly wipes off the ruined makeup and ash and dirt, reapplying some mascara and soft pink lipstick.

She reaches behind her head, carefully removing the pin Iris had put in her braided hair earlier today, and unravels the braided bun, letting it fall to her shoulders. She gently brushes it out, thick curls reaching just above her cleavage before brushing her teeth quickly. Pausing to take a look at herself in the mirror, she forces herself to take a deep breath in, hoping to calm her nerves.

' _This is ridiculous'_ She thought to herself with a nervous smile _'I've had sex with Barry before, there's no reason for me to be nervous now'_

Taking another deep breath, she peeks open the door, quietly coming out. What she didn't expect was for candles to be littered across the apartment, white rose petals strewn across the floor leading to their room.

She follows the path they made, her breath stolen from her when she took in the interior of their room and the man responsible for it. More candles and rose petals on practically every surface in their room, fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. A bottle of champagne and two champagne flutes sat on her dresser but her attention was focused on the man who had yet to notice her arrival.

His suit jacket was gone, as were his shoes and sock, the first couple of buttons of his shirt undone and his bow tie untied and hanging round his neck. He finally looked up, his green eyes meeting hers and then darkening as he took in her appearance.

"You look… _wow_ " he stares at her in awe for a moment, slowly moving so that they were only centimetres apart "How did I get so lucky?"

"Funny, I was just asking myself the same thing" she smiles, blushing nervously "Sorry, that was really cheesy"

He takes her face into his hands "It was perfect, you're perfect" he mutters before bringing his lips to hers. She immediately responds, hands gripping his clothed shoulders as their tongues battled for dominance.

They just kiss heavily for a few minutes, moaning and grinding against each other until Barry finally pulls his lips away from hers, grinning at the swollen state of them. His hands go from her face to the sides of her waist, gripping her tightly as he guided them back to rest against a wall.

She sighs happily as his mouth leaves a trail down her jaw to the place next to her collarbone that he knows drives her wild. He bites down gently and her breath hitches in the best way, her fingers tugging on the hair on the back of his neck. He edges one of his legs between her thighs, one of her calves coming to wrap around his waist as he pressed her further against the wall, a small groan emitting from his mouth as she grinds against him "God, Cait, you have no idea how badly I want you right now"

"I think I might have some" she pants, moving one of his hands to rest against the apex of her thighs, his fingers brushing against the fabric of her dampened underwear

"Jesus, you're soaked through already" he moans, the tips of his fingers dipping inside and gently rubbing against her.

She arches against him, gasping as his slips a finger inside, using the pad of his thumb to circle around her clit "Oh! God, Barry, don't stop"

He smiles against her skin, pulling away from her for a moment to draw her back to their bed and lightly push her against it. Climbing on top of her, he kisses his way down her body, hooking his thumbs on the edge of her underwear and slowly dragging it down her legs before trailing his lips back up her thighs.

She's tense, her body practically trembling with anticipation as she looks down at the sight of him laying between her legs. The first swipe of his tongue on her has her arching her back with a loud cry, her fingers going to tug on his hair. He doesn't relent though, using one of his forearms to pin down her hips as he continues his assault with his mouth, his tongue sliding in just the right spots as he sucks on her clit.

She comes with a loud cry of his name but he's not done yet, pulling her closer as he speeds up his actions, now inserting a finger and curling it upwards. She lets out a loud shout, Barry looking up at her momentarily and smiling at the image of her flushed face, eyes screwed shut and mouth parted in ecstasy.

He vibrates his finger inside of her, as his tongue presses hard against her and she sobs, gripping the sheets in fistfuls as he sends her hurtling towards another orgasm. Just as she's starting to come down, the coil in her stomach tightens again as Barry continues to flex his finger inside her, slipping in another and curling them upwards

"B-Barry! I-I can't! Not again!" She whimpers, her hips bucking against his arm "Oh God! P-please, it's too much!"

He smiles against her, speeding up his fingers "You can baby, just let go, I've got you. Come for me again"

He pumps two of his fingers inside while his thumb presses down on her clit, her thighs twitching against him in pleasure. Leaning up, he kisses her deeply as he speeds his fingers up again, vibrating his thumb against her and that's all she needs as she screams his name against his mouth.

She's panting when he withdraws his hand from her, small beads of sweat already starting to form at her brow "Oh…my…god"

"Yeah, well you can call me Barry" he says with a smug grin, her shaky laugh vibrating against him. He's painfully hard, she can feel it against her thigh and slowly moves a hand down to wrap around him through his pants

"Let's see how many time I can get _you_ calling out my name Mr Allen" she smirks.

He grins, but grabs her wrist, pulling it away "As much as I would love that, it'll have to wait till later. I want to cum for the first time inside of my wife"

She playfully pouts, but moves her hand away, instead going to the front of his shirt "Well we better get rid of some of these clothes then"

His lips attack hers then, pulling her closer as frenzied hands pull at each other's articles of clothing. Her hands deftly unbutton his shirt, helping him shrug his shirt and tie off to somewhere in the room before going to the zip on the front of his pants and pulling it down. He sits up for a moment to shake his trousers and boxers off before sinking his hands into the soft material of her baby-doll, gently puling it up and over her shoulders until they were both as naked as the day they were born.

He lays her down again against the pillows, his hands resting at her breasts, pinching and rolling her nipples until she was gasping underneath him again, her hips arching to meet his. He slowly goes down to pull one into his mouth, enjoying the keening sound that escapes her mouth as he gently bites down. He alternates between the two until her fingers wrench into his hair, tugging him upwards.

"No more teasing Barry, make love to me, please" she whispers, wrapping her legs around his waist

"As my beautiful wife commands" he grins, joining their mouths together as he positions himself and slowly pushes inside her. She moans against him, her hands slipping from his hair to grip at his shoulders as he starts to move, tugging one of her legs higher to deepen himself inside of her.

"I love you" he groans against the skin of her neck, slowly starting to thrust inside her as she moaned and arched beneath hm.

"God, Barry please, more" she gasps out, digging her nails into his back and urging him on.

Barry responded with enthusiasm, quickening his pace, egged on by her breathy moans in his ear, her body writhing beneath his. "Gods, Cait…" he found himself grunting the words as his muscles tensed and strained with every rise and fall of their bodies.

They were drowning in sensual bliss, in that same ache for release as their bodies came together again and again in some primordial alchemy, racing toward completion. Sweat beaded upon his face, dripping down his neck, and her tongue swathed along his pulse, tasting the salt of his perspiration. Her eyes were hooded and dark as they met his, mouth open and panting his name, "Barry! Barry! _Barry_!" as her hips bucked up to urge him on.

Barry groaned, his hips propelling forward hard and fast as he grew closer and closer. He kissed her throat, her breast, closing his lips around the nipple and suckling. He was close, so very close, and he crept his hand between their joined bodies, wanting to see her come apart again in his arms. He rubbed firm circles against her clit with the pad of his thumb, deepened the arch of his hips, and was rewarded when her breath hitched and her back bowed, her nails scratching down his shoulders as she half-screamed, half-sobbed something resembling his name.

She spasmed and quivered underneath him, her inner walls clenching down on his as her forth orgasm took hold of her and he was gone. A strangled cry of her name was ripped from his lips, his head bowed in the space between her head and her neck, perspiration lightly casting a sheen over the both of them.

He lies there for a moment, resting his damp forehead above her right breast, kissing it gently before pulling out of her, falling back on the bed beside her, chest heaving. She curls up against him, draping one leg over his hip, the two of them just lying there in a daze and waiting for their heartbeats to slow down to normal.

"So married sex, better than dating sex?" He breathes out after a few moments

She laughs, nuzzling her head against him "Oh yeah… definitely"


End file.
